Anthony Castro

I was reading an article on Towleroad about Anthony Castro. I first read about Anthony on Outsports (which if you have never visited before, you should do so now, then come back) Anthony was a 19 year old athlete who died in a car accident on January 21. At 19 years old he had a bright future ahead of him. Jim Buzinski at Outsports tells this story:



“My favorite Anthony story involves his senior year of wrestling. A fellow wrestler used to make snide homophobic remarks to Anthony.



Rather than file a complaint with the school, Anthony addressed the problem head on – he challenged the wrestler to a put-up-or-shut-up match. It didn't take very long, as Anthony had the guy pinned in about 20 seconds. That stopped the heckling and Anthony told me the guy quit the team.”

LZ Granderson from ESPN The Magazine and 360 wrote a tribute to Anthony on “Page 2” of espn.com:

“A four-year starter for the Banning High Broncos when the team's starting quarterback was ruled academically ineligible, Anthony, a 6-foot, 210-pound fullback, volunteered to take his place. He had never played the position before, but that didn't stop the Broncos' captain from making all-conference.

Anthony was also captain of the swim team, a member of the wrestling squad and part of the yearbook staff. Despite his being the big man on campus, freshmen felt comfortable enough around him to ask for help if they were being bullied by other upperclassmen. Teachers loved him, and the girls adored him.

I wanted to link to the stories and give a little background on Anthony before I went into detail on why I am posting about someone I have never met in my life. When I read the first story on Outsports, I teared up. Anthony is someone that had so much courage to come out as a student athlete as a sophomore in high school. I have been thinking about this post, re-writing it and spending a lot of time on it because it has been something that has been on my mind.

As a sophomore in high school, I came out to two of my best friends, John and Chris while on a school trip. I couldn’t imagine what it would have been like, or how different my life would be right now that if I had kept that courage and come out to my parents and football team. This young man Anthony sounded like a leader and all around good person in the making. Who knows, he could have become the first openly gay athlete drafted into the NFL.

With exception to the guys that I had hooked up with, I am not out to anyone that I played football with in high school. There is part of me that wants to when I see any of them.

I feel really bad for his boyfriend, Cody Mariscal. According to news reports, Cody was arrested on suspicion of vehicular manslaughter and driving under the influence in the death of Cody and another passenger.

Anyway, at some point during your day, take a little time to think about Anthony and say a prayer for him.

RIP

via Deadspin

Reading in

I have been such the slacker when it comes to reading blogs. I checked in with a few of my favorite ones a few minutes ago and started writing this entry as I was reading and doing the last part of my day here at work. I am training a new girl here at work. She is very pretty, smart (has a masters degree) but has never worked in television before. So it’s hard trying to do your job, show her how to do her new job with her having no skills or knowledge of working in television news.

I also realized that my superiors must have a LOT of confidence in me for letting me work my regular shift AND train her at the same time. It’s just getting really busy and taking time away from my job search. HaHa.

Eye Fu*k

I went out Saturday night with a friend from college. We knew each other through a mutual friend and he was in NYC going out to bars for the first time. His name is Rizz. That’s what I have always called him. His sexuality is debatable. He had facebooked me (added me as a friend on the Social Networking site) we e-mailed back and forth and he wanted to hang out. We ha missed each other a few times but Saturday night was the night. He had a friend with him, her name was Michele. He said to me that they weren’t dating. So, we went out to a bar near MSG and then headed down to West 4th street to meet some people there.

I think I drank 2 pitchers to myself that night. All Yuengling. My favorite beer here in the NYC area. So I got home at about 5am, passed out and woke up at 9:45am with a HUGE hangover, throbbing headache and just laid in bed without being able to fall back asleep.

I went out to NJ for the day to see my Jew-rific friend Marissa. We went and got some food at Joes American bar and Grill. If you live near one go grab some food, it’s good.

Anyway, after a long day I had to come back to the city and right back to work. I’m just happy that I don’t have to deal with the super bitch that is my ex-roommate, who still owes me my security deposit.

Now, some have said to me, “You live in New York… why would you EVER want to go to Jersey?’

Just because I live in New York, doesn’t mean I don’t like to get out every once and a while. Plus, NJ does not have sales tax. I also realized that I am over a lot of stores that I liked to go into and check out what kind of clothes they had such as American Eagle, Abercrombie and yeah that’s about it. The A&F had two hot shirtless guys standing out front of the store trying to get people in. I almost went in, I just eye fucked the guy that was standing out front.

I love eye fucking guys. Walking on streets of NYC its easy. Straight guys are fun. Because you lock eyes and after 3 seconds they realize what’s happening and some get off on it. Most just look away but there are the few that will lock eyes and give a little grin. I like to take a few steps and turn around and see if they turn around as well, and I like when a guy is walking with a girl, turns around for one last look, to see me looking back in his eyes. SO MUCH FUN

Anyway, hope you all have a good day, I’m heading to sleep soon.

Internet vs. Gay Bars

I was having a conversation with a reader about meeting guys on and off the internet and how useless it is to even TRY to use the internet to meet someone.

There was a time when I didn’t even want to be NEAR a gay bar. All of my friends in college were for the most part straight. I had made friends with guys that were in the closet who started coming up to me more and more because I started the coming out process with my fraternity guys and the girls we hung out with.

For those who did not know how I did this, I told a few fraternity brothers of mine that I lived with and trusted with my life. From there if someone were to ask me about it I wouldn’t deny it, I would just say yeah. It went from there…

Anyway, the only way I really met guys in college was online. I am going to admit that while in college I would use Gay.com and Manhunt to meet guys who lived near my college. The only time I really used it was when I was drunk and super horny.

Even when I used those site, the usual way the night would go is I would IM certain guys that I found attractive, wait for a response and surf for porn. It would get late and the only guys wh0 wanted to meet me were 60 year old guys. Nothing against 60 year old guys who may be reading my blog, but I am interested in meeting guys around my age. As the night would go on, I would get rejected by a few guys saying that I am “not their type” (WTF is a “type” anyway) Just like with that "hockey player" who said that we didn't click after talking online, it's stupid.

There was a night that I realized that I have to stop the whole internet meeting and try to go to a gay bar and meet guys. My family is all from Connecticut and my sister works in club promotion. One of her best friends worked “gay night” at this club in New Haven called Gotham. Saturday nights, guys like Brian from my fraternity would head to Gotham and he always found a guy to go home with. Doctors from Yale, accountants and guys who worked in insurance up in Hartford he met all kinds of guys there.

I decided one night over during my senior year that I wanted to check out Gotham. I had been working at a Pizzeria Uno’s close to home and this girl Pam who knew about me wanted to go with me for support. She ended up not remembering and getting wasted so she was out of the question to go. In her drunken stupor she told me to go by myself and that I would be okay. So I sucked it up and went.

I parked by the green in New Haven about 3 blocks away and made my way to Gotham. I get to the door and the bouncer there looks at my ID and gives me the 21 and up bracelet. He looks at me and says, “You realize what night it is tonight, right bro.” I nervously look at him and say yeah. He looked kind of surprised. I entered the club. It was about 10:30pm and only the downstairs bar is open. At 11:00 they open the upstairs and let everyone up to the large dance floor and bar area. I had been there before with fraternity brothers on a straight night for some chicks birthday but it was strange to see guys holding hands and I was uncomfortable. After a few beers I went upstairs and took perch in the bar area. I was waiting around and saw this hot guy with reddish hair wearing a zipper hoodie and jeans. Really good looking guy. He had a buzz cut which I really like on a guy. He had a nice built chest and looked good. After eyeing him for 20 minutes or so, he makes his way into the bar area I am in with his friends. After a minute or so his friends head out to the dance floor. He is sitting at the bar kind of staring off into space and I decide I want to buy him a drink.

Right now, its ballsy for me to even approach a guy. I have self image issues, which Tony and Tim smack me around for all the time. Anyway, I make my move from behind and say, “Can I buy you a drink?”

He turns around and looks at me and he smiles. He says “Why Sure JP Mac” (using my full name). I FREAKED OUT. Then I realized it was this guy Justin. Justin was a guy I had talked to online in high school. He went to a high school a town over from me. We had talked in high school, and even met at the mall once.

That day we met at the mall was so awkward for both of us. We talked about stuff and then said goodbye and kept talking online.

Anyway, back to the bar. So we caught up and talked for a little longer. We were both into each other and we decided to hit a diner after the bar closed. We went to the diner and I left the table midway to go to the bathroom. I get back and he had taken a picture with my camera, entered his phone number in and sent me a text message saying HEY CUTIE.

That night turned out to be a turning point in where I was with myself. Justin showed me that I can go to a gay bar and meet someone and not have to feel lame or embarrassed to do so. It took me a while to get used to it, even moving to NYC it took me a LONG time to be able to go to a gay bar by myself.

I guess the point of this is that trying to meet guys on the internet doesn’t work. I think going out, to gay bars has really taught me to not be afraid of myself and that it gives me the chance to meet new people. Even if it doesn’t lead to a sexual relationship, it’s still a new friend and someone to network with and possibly meet someone through.

Hope you all have a great day. I am feeling a little under the weather right now so bear with me.

That guy Ryan called me back, left a voicemail and I called him back and left a voicemail. Phone tag is always fun. Lets hope that I can meet up with him this weekend.

MADE MY NIGHT

had these pictures emailed to me and it made my night. Nothing better than some Gyllenhaal to make my night a lot better.

Blogs I read...

Thanks to Jay over at Confessions of a Bi Guy who started linking to me from his blog.
Jay is also in New York and if you haven't read his blog, you definitely have to. He has some hot readers stories and fantasies. Hot pictures of guys and girls on the site and all around is a cool guy. Also, check out his complete profile for a hot picture. Not sure if it is him, but it's a hot pic.

Guy from Chicago is also a good blog thatI check out every day. He's a really cool guy who also happens to link to me. (anyone catching a theme?)

Wills Way is a cool read and if you are a fan of hockey, check him out. He is thinking about heading to NYC soon. Anyone who reads and is heading to New York, make sure you let me know so we can make time to chill, if you are into meeting bloggers and stuff. As I wrote that, it came out awkward, but who cares, I am leaving it in.

Hamilton from moving along is a pretty cool blog. He describes himself like this, "I am 23 years old student studying at USC. I double major with Finance and Accounting. I am trying to accept myself as a gay man but having a hard time to do so. I want to blame it on my family and friends, but I guess it is me who still cannot accept the fact that I am actually gay." We have all been there.. hell I still kind of am there with some friends and my family. Check Hamilton out, his blogs is a good read.

and B from Uncut and Unadulterated, B has been lacking in posts, but is getting back into it. It also helps that he is a good looking guy and totally chill to talk to. The question on my mind is the whole "uncut" part of the title of the blog... get your minds out of the gutter all!

Anyway, hope you enjoy the links!

Where are you?

Jason...Where have you been? Hope everything is ok... the overnight hasn't been the same.. LoL

Robot Chicken

Just thought I would let you guys know that I enjoy a show called Robot Chicken. It's on Adult Swim. Anyway, this skit may be one of my favorites of all time. I like the star wars movies and this just made me laugh... watch the entire clip for two other short clkips at the end... very funny.

Donnacha O'Callaghan plays with no shorts

I love when readers point out fun stuff on the internets and when readers send me hot pics of themselves or just other hot guys in general. Anyway, this video was sent to me by Dave in Seattle. Tony and I talked about Rugby players and how there are some hot rugby players out there in the world. This video just made me smile here at work. It's beena long challenging day so far, only like 6 more hours to go...

Enjoy the video and send me more hot stuff.




And more fun with some guys from Dieux du Stade... so hot...

Post Secret

Just thought I would share some of the highlights from post secret. The one below I related to because I was recently the best man in a wedding. Even though I did a good job, John and I haven't really talked much. Thats married life for you.

This one is just funny... but sad at the same time.
This one CREEPS ME OUT A LOT!

Hockey Locker Room

Facebook is a wonderfull thing. Like someone else I know, I enjoy "stalking" some guys on facebook. This I guess isn't stalking because I am real life friends with the guy below. He plays hockey at his college and posted pictures on facebook of hanging out in the locker room. I could not resist sharing a few of the pictures he had tagged. For those of you still in college and have facebook you have to love seeing pictures like this. My favorite is when hot guys get tagged shirtless at a party and they show up on someone's mini feed. I know, kind of pathetic, but enjoy these locker room pics.

Undressed

Matt over at Debriefing the Boys had a few videos posted of the show Undressed that was on MTV a while ago. I linked to the latest video and the others from YouTube can be found HERE.

The Secret relationship story hit home with me because of a similar situation in college. I was an Orientation Leader (OL) at my school and had a bunch of transfer's and athletes during an August session right before school started. I became friends with this guy nammed Tucker (not his real name). He was on a sports team at my college and was in awesome shape. He was kind of distant from the rest of the guys on his team, but we would talk at the cafe, hallway in some buildings and always in the gym. He would make a point to come over and say hi to me, then we would run on the indoor track if he wasn't doing a team workout. My gaydar was going NUTS on this guy and one night I invited him to come to one of our on campus parties. He came by and we were drinking and hanging out. A few guys from his team came by that I was friends with and this one guy, Jim came up to me.

Jim said, "JP, watch out dude. Tucker is gay."

I thought he had some beef with Tucker so I ignored him. Later on in the night, after a few drinking songs with my fraternity bros, Tucker and I ended up in my room playing Madden. He said my room was getting hot. So I offered to open the window. He said, nah it's ok and tok off his shirt. I took the cue and looked at him dead on in his blue eyes. He smiled and leaned in and kissed me. It was so hot.

Anyway, we had the whole "this isn't gay, just having fun" talk 6 months into us hooking up.
I know I am not going into much detail about him, I'm tired and will finish more of this post later.

Before I get some sleep... a big thanks to Matt from DTB because he listed me under his favorite blogs. You guys need to check his blog out, it's a great read. Thanks Matt!

Sweet weekend fo sho

I am sure most of you have noticed that I have been in a bad mood. I feel like I need to apologize to Tim and Jordan because I have been talking to them about a bunch of stuff. Friday, I talked to Sully before he went to work about a lot of stuff on my mind. It’s always good to just talk to someone about anything and everything on my mind.

So, my friend Tony and I have been wanting to meet up for a while now. We met through friends and he reads the blog. We talk on the phone on weekends, drunk dial each other and IM nightly. We talk about a lot of stuff and can say that he is a cool guy.

At around 3pm on Saturday Tony called to say he was on his way over to my place. He was in the city already visiting some friends and had said early in the week that he wanted to meet up on Saturday night. I didn’t think he would be heading over so soon. So, seeing how I was being lazy I cleaned my room and living room up, sat back down on the couch, and zoned out.

Tony found a place and parallel parked by himself on the street and made his way to my apartment. Knocked on my door and I gave him the tour. We sat on my couch, watched a little of the Patriot. We talked about a lot of stuff and the subject of SNL came up and we both love Tina Fey who is now on 30 Rock, which happened to be on my DVR. So after 30Rock I took a shower and we left to go grab some food.

After walking around the Meatpacking district trying to find a place where you didn’t need reservations, we ended up at this place across the street from the Gansevoort hotel . It was a cool place, got a table right away and just caught up and got to know each other more in person.

After dinner, we headed to the Gansevoort for drinks at the Penthouse bar. Most expensive drinks ever. 4 drinks were as much as our dinner. Ridiculous. We headed after to GYM. He had been there drunk one time in the past. The crowd was a lot older than usual. Plus, we really didn’t see anyone that was attractive. Our goal for the night was to each find a guy. We headed up the street to Barracuda. We did 2 rounds of shots of Jager and two beers and got hit on by two drag queens (all in twos) We decided to leave, even though it was still early we left and went to Therapy. Neither of us had been there before, but he had heard of it. We show up and the place was really cool.

We found a place to sit, had a hot waiter named Domenic and the guys sitting next to us were cute. I was attracted to this guy with dark hair but ended up talking to this guy named Ryan, who is from Canada but now lives in NYC. We talked about the Maple Leafs, Raptors and Blue Jays. I talked about how I worked in television and he had always wanted to work in TV so we hit it off.

After an hour of talking, flirting and him talking to me in French he asked for my number. We exchanged numbers and he left with his buddy. Tony had made eye contact with this guy Mike, who was pretty cute. They had been staring at each other for a little bit. Tony went over, made his moves.

Tony has an awesome personality. He reminds me of my fraternity brother/ good friend Cameron. He has a killer smile, charm, and good looks. I’m sure he is rolling his eyes reading this but it’s the truth. I went and joined Tony and these two guys at another table. It was obvious that BOTH of the guys wanted Tony. Mike especially. It was getting late and we were hungry again. We headed over to Lucky’s Famous Burgers which was close by. Mike and his friend Miguel (possibly his name I forgot) I ordered a Burger, was kind of disappointed that Ryan bounced. Mike was playing very hard to get with Tony. He kept saying he was straight, Tony kept calling him gay and it was a funny flirtation. In the subway station Mike kept coming up to Tony and talking to him and they finally exchanged phone numbers.

We got home at 4:30ish and crashed on the futon and watched SNL. I crashed around 5:30 and slept like a baby. Tony woke me up at around 1pm (yeah I know, crazy) and we headed downtown to catch brunch with an “ex” of Tony’s. I call him an ex because they used to hook up off and on, and for the purpose of the blog, they were dating. His ex, also named Ryan (now called “his” Ryan) was at a place down on 10th and 3rd with some people. On the car ride downtown we talked about how much fun the night was, about the guys we had met (and we both met our goal of finding a guy that night).

After not being able to find a place to park, we get to the brunch place and his Ryan and his friends had started eating so we stopped in and said hello. We walked upstairs and instantly I recognized Ryan. He had dated my friend Erik while in college. When Erik and I were talking back when I first started my job in NYC, I had seen Ryan’s myspace page, thought he was really cute. Now here I am, meeting him randomly. I texted Erik saying that I had just met the ex and he thought it was really funny.

We left the brunch place and found this pizzeria called Pie by the Pound. Awesome pizza place on 4th between 12th and 13th. Had a slammin piece of 5 Cheese pizza that had Provolone Gorgonzola Fresh Mozzarella Fontina Parmesan. I added some black pepper, garlic and oregano to it. So gooood. Anyway, Tony and I went into this costume shop that was next door to kill sometime, took a trip to Barnes and Noble in Union Square and then he took off to head back to school.

Overall it was a fun time with Tony. After he took off, I got a call from this guy Rob who wanted to watch the football games. I met him at a bar on the Upper East Side (UES) got a hamburger later on in the night and then headed back to my apartment to nap and head to work. I’m happy Tony and I finally got to meet and spend some time together. It’s crazy how you can bond with someone quickly and have a good time the first time you meet. I don’t want to call Tony one of my “gays” but he is in a straight dude kinda way. Now it’s back to the grind of work.

EDIT: 8am- I left my cell phone at home last night while I was at work. I get home, tired, want to sleep and there is a text from "my" Ryan. I had called Sunday afternoon to say hi. His text said, " Hey. Will call you tomorrow. was at dinner and a movie" Pretty sweet. I'll keep you all updated.

Clarification

I wanted to make a clarification about “ALL” the guys that suck in New York. Obviously there are some of you out there that do NOT suck. This comment was being thrown toward certain people that just suck and have pissed me off in the past.

I know I have been talking/chatting with a few guys from New York recently and besides the stupid hockey player, all of you are awesome and I enjoy talking with you.

I wanted to clarify that for those guys, and anyone else that may have thought that they were included in the “All Guys Suck” kinda post.

Okay… now I feel better

Eli Manning

This is how Eli Manning spent his Christmas Eve. You know how I spent my christmas eve? I was pist off at him for going 9 for 25 for 74 yards, 55 of them coming on one lucky heave to Plaxico. The Giants lost to the Saints, the last home game of the season. Can someone tell me why we didn't keep Philip Rivers again?

Who is this whore?

Alumni Weekend

I was talking with my little brother Jesse (from my fraternity TKE) about alumni weekend up at school. It's the weekend of my 26th birthday (I am fucking old). What is cool is that they are inviting alumni back to watch games at the new Arena that opened on campus. I'm pretty excited about getting up there and seeing everyone. What's cool, is my fraternity turns 40 years old during the alumni weekend, so we have a reception being put on by the school.

One of our alumni is a big wig at an Oil company and donates a lot of money. So, we get a reception on my birthday then will go out and party with a bunch of guys that mean so much to me. Jesse is letting me stay in his apartment that weekend, on an air mattress. Not bad eh. I can't stay with the active brothers, I wouldn't survive. LoL.

Anyway, just a bright spot after my last post!

CRAZY

The last few days have been crazy here at work. I know I have been on AIM for the first part of the night, but after 3am I have been slammed with work. My executive producer loves me, has me doing a lot of stuff that she only trusts me in doing, which is awesome but a lot to handle. But I am getting by.

Yesterday I was late to work because I was stuck on a subway for an hour and a half. No one told us what was wrong until about 45 minutes of sitting on the train the conductor gets on the speaker in his thick new york accent, " Ladies and Gentlemen, we are stopped on the tracks and will be moving shortly. A man jumped in front of the train ahead of us and the police need to clean the body parts from the tracks before we can move. Please be patient." The car fell silent and no one really knew what to say. I get to work, late, and tell people about it and this one producer didn't believe me. a half hour later he found a story from the AP about the guy who jumped on the tracks and apologized.

My nights have been getting better. There are people that ARE up and work the same hours as me that I talk to and really enjoy talking to them as I distract myself from work.

I know I have complained about it before, but guys in New York suck. I had a conversation with a guy who played hockey at a D-1 school that now lives here in New York. When we first met, online (ugh), he was really cool. We talked for hours about college, life in NY and it all went really well. I have a softness for hockey players. I played until I was 14 years old and there are guys that play hockey that are just hot. My cousin still plays and is semi-pro right now.

Anyway, he is in grad school as well as working a full time job and is crazy with work and school. So, our conversations got shorter and most of the time I would say hi and he would not respond. Out of the blue he says, "I don't think it's going to work out. I'm not feeling it."

Not feeling it? Are you fucking serious? I mean, I can't help it if a guy doesn’t feel a spark or anything between the two of us, but we never met in person. We are both into sports and he was the one who went out of his way to IM me and chat me up. I don't know. We never met in person and feel like its crazy that you can make a judgment on an IM conversation.

I just don't get guys who live in New York.

Since I moved to New York, I have noticed how open I have become about my sexuality. I am still scared to death to say ANYTHING to my family, but friends and fraternity brothers ask me about love life all the time. I just roll my eyes most of the time. My confidence in myself has grown a lot as well. I mean, I am working out, running 4 days a week and eating a lot better than I have in a long time. I know that it takes a while to get into the routine and see results and I want it to be immediate.

In the near future I know that there are guys that I want to meet that I have been talking to from the blog, which is awesome. I am at a handicap though, YOU guys know a lot about me, where as I don’t know much about them.

Who knows what will happen in the next few weeks, What I do know is I am keeping an open mind when it comes to meeting anyone and want to see where life can go.

Parents Reaction...

I don't know if I jumped the gun with telling my parents about the job interview I had for a job out in Burbank. My sister Kate has known about it since the first interview. My parents were in the car on the way home from New Jersey and I called to see what they were up to.

Mom answered and she asked me how everything was going and if I had been applying for jobs... Moms have ESP. I told her that I had an interview today and think it went well and should be hearing back soon.

She asked me what i would be doing.. I took a deep breathe and told her the job was in Burbank. she paused and said... "California?"

She went on this tangent about how she would not support my move out there, that I would miss home and not be around to see family and such. It was just a mom trying to protect her first born and only son.

My dad took it better saying I needed to think about the financial pros and cons of moving but nothing about my future career.

Overall it has blown over for the most part and I am still waiting to hear back if I am going to be flying to LA for a face to face interview. My gut feeling, though the interview went very well, is that I did not get the job. Only because I am in New York.

I am in my new apartment now and my room is TINY, but have a large living room. My roommate doesn't know about me yet so that should be a fun conversation.

Looking back...

I am going to be without internet for a little bit these next few days. Anyone that lives in the NYC area knows that Time Warner Cable aren’t exactly the quickest people to work with. So bare with me. Most of my posts will come from me at work, and it looks like my work load will be increasing. They just keep letting people go and giving more “responsibility” to others who work. I guess that’s how it goes.

Big shout out to my New York readers. Even LARGER shout out to all my readers in Connecticut. I was born and raised in the “203” and loved growing up in CT but like living in NYC now.

I had an awesome conversation with a guy last night who happens to live in New York. He also works nights so we had each other to keep company online. Lately when I get in I have been keeping to myself and sitting at a desk downstairs and doing what I have to get done for the writers, but keeping to myself. It’s 3 hours of quiet where I don’t have to deal with a lot of people. The other 7 hours of work I am with other people and constantly have people looking over my shoulder to see what I am doing.

Anyway, the conversation I had last night all went back to high school. High school was a time where I explored my sexuality. I knew a lot about myself in high school and had some complex relationships. Most of these relationships no one really knew about because they were with guys. When I had problems I had guys I would turn to in chat rooms and such.

It all goes back to 8th grade when my best friend growing up and I found a stash of porn. His name is Adam. Now, even back then I knew I had an attraction to guys. In the locker room for gym class I would check other guys out because I was interested in seeing what other guys looked like. I was curious. As time went on, it became apparent that guys were measuring up and seeing who was the biggest. On the football team, it was common talk.

Adam and I ended up experimenting a lot together through high school. Even at a time when we both had girlfriends, we would still hook up on the weekends. It all started with that stash of porn. It was during a sleepover at his house and watching the porn and both wanting to jerk off. We both jerked off, kind of checking each other out as we did it. The next weekend, he wanted to jerk me off so I said fine. I was not going to turn down a hand job. This was the first time someone else had touched me and it felt awesome. By the end of that night we had both sucked each other off and had an amazing time.

I was lucky to have AOL at home, I was able to chat with other guys and from the sound of what I was reading in chat rooms, it was totally normal for 2 guys to jerk each other off and experiment. We were young, just in high school, no big deal.

Adam was a good looking guy. He was on the schools soccer team, had a great body, brown hair and brown eyes. No one really ever suspected that we were hooking up. We were good friends. Over the course of freshman year, Adam and I would hook up on weekends, at sleepovers.

During that time I dated this girl Sue who was on the girls Volleyball team. She was sweet and it just did not work out between us.

That spring, I again went out for football and made the team. Over the summer we had conditioning practice at the high school. It was on Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights. Starting at 4pm about 70 student athletes would show up to train outside and use the weight room. Football had 3 stations. One was in the main gym working on speed, agility, and coordination. Lots of sprints and other exercises where it kicked our asses.

The second was outside in the football stadium. There we would train for endurance and that was the least fun of them all. It was all running. ½ mile and get a 10 second rest, then a ¾ mile and rest and so on. For 45 minutes all we would do is run. The last station was the weight room. Doing circuit training and free weights. It all depended on where you lined up at the beginning of practice. We counted off by threes and tried to arrange yourself to be with guys you knew so you wouldn’t be stuck by yourself.

I always ended up teamed with this guy Dan, who ended up being voted captain that year. Dan was a good looking guy. Italian, 6’2” jacked brown hair and blue eyes. Everything you could ask for. He was always seen with a cheerleader or a chick from the girls soccer team. They were athletic and hot at my high school. We also had one of the best girls soccer teams in the nation. Anyway, Dan took me under his wing for some reason. He was a nice guy to do this for me.

One Friday night, his parents were at the Cape (Cape Cod) for the weekend so he was able to have guys over to party. This was one of the first weekend I was able to really hang out and enjoy being a Varsity football player. I brought clothes with me to practice and after, Dan gave me a ride to his house. His dad worked in construction, so the house was really nice. They lived in a nice part of town and had a pool and hot tub in the backyard. The guys started to show up and I started drinking some rum.

We were playing some drinking games and then some girls from the soccer team showed up. The party was awesome. It was summer, I was getting drunk for one of the first times and I was enjoying myself.

Guys started passing out around 1am. Dan, myself and 3 guys I had grown up with were chillin in the hot tub enjoying the buzz and resting after a rough Friday practice. After the last beers we decided to go pass out. I really wasn’t used to drinking beer so I was very tipsy. I had left my bag from practice up in Dans room. I went up to get changed and we talked about ho excited we were for the season. The team had lost the state championship the year before and really wanted to make another run this year.

We started changing out of our bathing suits and I slipped on my mesh shorts and said I was going to look for a place to crash downstairs. He said I could crash in his room on the floor if I wanted. I decided to. I mean, he was hot and the senior captian. His nickname was “Rhino” because of part of his last name and he was pretty well hung.


As I laid next to his bed, he was getting ready for bed. He stripped down and started getting changed. He looked for his boxer briefs in his drawers, standing around naked for me to enjoy. Looking back, he was standing around for a solid 2 minutes just naked. Of course I was checking him out. Why not. Dan asked if I had ever seen a porn video. I lied, said no.

He took the video out of his closet and put it his VCR and hit play. The porn started with a guy and girl going at it on a couch in what looked like a hotel room. The guy was really hot and I was paying attention to Dan more than the video. After about 5 minutes of awkward silence, Dan said something to the effect of , “damn I gotta jerk off”. I was horny and wanted to also. I said I need to as well. So we both took out dicks out of our shorts and started jerk off. Both of use were looking at each other at one point and he motioned for me to come up on the bed. I got up and sat on the bed. He took my shorts off and started giving me head. Adam had sucked me off before but Dan was SO MUCH BETTER AT IT. That night we hooked up and had a lot of fun.

The next morning I woke up, naked, on the floor of Dans room. Someone was pounding on the door. Dan got up, threw a pair of shorts on and I rolled over and tried to sleep some more. Joey, another guy from my year, came in and jumped on top of me. I was still in my sleeping bag so it was all cool. Guys were going to the diner across town and wanted us to come. We said we would meet them there after a shower. I laid there as the guys downstairs waited for us to be ready. Most of them had taken a morning dip and didn’t want to shower. Dan wanted to before he left. I was laying there and really needed to piss so I walk to the bathroom and open the door. Dan was in the shower, I said I was coming in to piss. I started pissing and he pokes his head out of the shower and grins.

I went back to his room and got changed into clothes and Dan walks into his room and drops his towel. He comes up to me and says something along the lines of , “Mac, you can’t tell anyone about what we did last night. I had a lot of fun and it’s our thing. It’s fun not gay, that cool?”

I of course agreed. Dan and I would end up having fun for the rest of that summer and while he was a senior. I wanted to share that story because I was talking with Jake last night and had all these memories flood back to me. Anyway, I hope everything is going well with everyone else. I’ll talk to everyone soon.

JP

28 Day Slater

If you are like me, you had a crush on Zach Morris and AC Slater growing up. I remember going on to the Nifty Story site and reading a hot story about Preppy and Albert Clifford. Anyway, a reader who enjoyed God, Inc. sent me the link to 28 Day Slater. Team Tiger Awesome comedy group created it and the guy who plays Slater is pretty hot. And looks like he has a nice package during a wrestling scene.

The premise behind it, NBC gave Mario Lopez an implant so that during the month of Feburary, he thinks he is AC Slater. If you enjoyed Saved by The Bell growing up, then watched it on TBS everyday at Noon in college you will LOVE these vids. Check it out and leave a comment!

God, Inc.

"Episode 1 of 6: "In The Beginning, There Was Paperwork..." New hire Sarah is given a tour by Brad and meets the Product Development team."

I watched the first 3 episodes and laughed. Just imagine what heaven would be like as an office. There is different departments like Disasters, Population Control, Miracles, and Product Development. If you work an office job, you will laugh at the videos. They are pretty short and funny. Check them out.

*note: I don't know the guy who put this together. Thought it would be funny to share!

part 2

part 3

I want to go back to college

Apple iPhone

Engadget has pictures from the Apple unveiling of the iPhone. Everyone should check it out. I am in love with my Macbook and OSX. The phone looks killer. At $600 it is killer and has 8G of flash memory. It's only going to be with Cingular. My Sprint contract is up now so who knows what I will do. Any suggestions people?

Crap

I have been feeling like crap the past few days. With moving to a new apartment, stress at work, not feeling well I have been very erratic lately.

I have had some trouble sleeping. When I am not sleeping I am at work. I dunno. I have my second Interview on the phone coming up on Thursday! Wish me luck on those!

GO GATORS!

I have been a Florida Gators fan since I was young. I know, I grew up in Connecticut. When I was growing up my grandmother bought me everything Lacoste, which has an alligator on the chest. When I got older, started playing football, my grandmother started buying me Florida Gators stuff down in Palm Beach and would send it to me. I started following them and was a VERY happy camper when they beat Florida State for the 1996 National Championship

2007 and again, National Champions in Football. If there are any other Gators fans out there, get at me!

Mambo Italiano

I have been Netflixing random movies and this week I got the movie Mambo Italiano.


From IMDB.com


Angelo Barberini is the oddball son of Italian immigrants Gino and Maria, who inadvertently ended up in Canada rather than the States. Angelo shocks his parents by moving out on his own without getting married, and shocks them further still when he reveals that he's gay. But his boyfriend, policeman Nino Paventi isn't as ready to come out of the closet -- especially not to his busybody mother, Lina.


I think I enjoyed the movie because I am part Italian and see parts of my family in those being portrayed. My mother is the Italian in my family and she comes from a LARGE Italian family. I remember when I was little going to LARGE family get togethers and meeting a lot of family odd balls. I was kind of attracted to the main character Angelo. I don’t know why, but I was. I connected with him because he wanted to become a television writer, just like me.

What’s funny is that in a “Brokeback” kind of scene where Nino and Angelo first hook up in a tent while camping. The movie was made in 2003 so it was pre-Brokeback.

Anyway, if any of you have Netflix (or the Blockbuster service) I suggest you check it out. I don’t like the ending of the movie. The acting is okay and I hear the play version is a LOT better than the movie if you get good actors.

New Job?

As all of you know, I am unhappy with the hours I am working. I have been trying to find myself a better job by applying for positions within the company. Today I saw an Assistant position that is not in New York, but in Burbank, California. I applied through the company Job site and got the standard reply back from the automated system and now I just have to wait and see if I am contacted.

What's funny is I was talking with this guy Tony and he keeps saying that I need a new job right away because I sound VERY DEPRESSED.

Everyone cross your fingers!

Oceans 13

I just saw the trailer for "Oceans 13"

I am pretty excited for the movie. I know that it's the third movie and the second wasn't THAT GOOD, but I mean anytime to see Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, and George Clooney together in a movie is a treat. Al Pacino is also in the movie.

The Weekend

So, many of you have asked about my weekend. I said that I was VERY excited about Friday and had a GREAT time Friday night. I woke up from my nap, showered and made my way down to meet a blog reader that I have been talking to for a little bit. We had been talking on IM and on the phone and decided to meet up for drinks before he went and met up with his friends that were also out in New York.

Now, he isn't out to his friends at all and didn't want any questions on how we knew and met eachother. I guess saying that I write a blog about being a straight acting gay guy in New York was out of the question. So, we went to this place called Stout which is right by Madison Square Garden. They have a lot of beer on tap. We were able to get a spot at the bar and I ordered a couple of yuengling's and we watched the Rangers game and the end of the Knick game (even though I hate the NBA)

We talked mostly sports and about how he HATES the Giants and likes the Jets. Talked NFL playoffs, sports and other random stuff. We had two beers and he left after an hour to go see his friends.

I went and met up with my fraternity brothers who were at the Gansevoort hotel meeting my friend Lala who was in town celebrating her engament. She lives back home in Spain now and it was really good to see her. It was fun to hang out and see these guys.

The next morning I woke up and heard from Sully who wanted to hang out and watch the Giants game. So I went and got on the LIRR and headed to Long Island. He picked me up and we hung out at his apartment with his girlfriend and just caught up on stuff. We headed out for his local bar and got food and started watching the game.

On the way over to the bar I heard from my Friday night date, he was really hung over and was staying in and watching the game. It was cool that he called me because he is a really good guy.

After the first Giants Field Goal we decided to do shots and do shots after every Giants score. 34 points later and a pitcher of beer, i was feeling good. Our bartender Larry was looking even better. I think I may have been giving him a little too much attention that night. Sully and I ended up playing beer pong and we won 6 games in a row. I ended up fucking up by leaving a cup on the table that had been previously hit... GAME OVER.

I was trashed. Not my fault. I didn't wake up until noon on Sunday to watch the Jets start to win and Sully got dressed in his NYPD stuff and headed in to the city to work.

I still haven't heard back from my Friday night date. I sent him a text message at sometime after midnight saying Happy New Year. Who knows what will happen next, what I do know is that it was nice to meet another guy, who is into sports, likes to talk sports (football and baseball) and know in the back of my head that he likes guys. Overall, good weekend.

Now I am planning my birthday party that is on Saturday Feb. 3rd.

New Year Resolution

My New Years, overall was interesting. As you know, I worked. At around 3:15am about 10 bottles of champagne showed up and I ended up having a bottle all to myself. I got home at about 8am (very early) and fell asleep. I woke up at about 10pm. I could not believe I slept that long.

Everyone talks about a New Years Resolution and last year mine was "Fuck Resolutions" this year I don't know. I think they are over rated. This year I know that there are some things I want to accomplish.

1) Need to go to the gym regularly
2) Eat Right
3) Get a better job with better hours

That is really about it. Tim had suggested that I read The Abs Diet and use it to help with my quest for a better body. I have been reading it and a lot of what it says makes sence. I know that you need to work out and that you need to eat right for everything to work. I really do appreciate Tim's suggestion and I hope that all of you read his blog.

I promise my weekend re-cap is coming soon

greetings from work...

We celebrated the New Year at work with a champagne toast and then, more work. I would like to thank right off the bat Barry, Jared, Blake and umm oh yeah Tim for keeping me company on my "Celebration" of 2007 at my desk at work.

I would also like to thank all of those who IMed me with a Happy New Year greeting! All of you that e-mail, IM and comment help make this blog better with every post.

Work is going by slowly and I am working on my post about what happened this weekend.

Feel Better Blake!

Happy New Year