Looking back...

I am going to be without internet for a little bit these next few days. Anyone that lives in the NYC area knows that Time Warner Cable aren’t exactly the quickest people to work with. So bare with me. Most of my posts will come from me at work, and it looks like my work load will be increasing. They just keep letting people go and giving more “responsibility” to others who work. I guess that’s how it goes.

Big shout out to my New York readers. Even LARGER shout out to all my readers in Connecticut. I was born and raised in the “203” and loved growing up in CT but like living in NYC now.

I had an awesome conversation with a guy last night who happens to live in New York. He also works nights so we had each other to keep company online. Lately when I get in I have been keeping to myself and sitting at a desk downstairs and doing what I have to get done for the writers, but keeping to myself. It’s 3 hours of quiet where I don’t have to deal with a lot of people. The other 7 hours of work I am with other people and constantly have people looking over my shoulder to see what I am doing.

Anyway, the conversation I had last night all went back to high school. High school was a time where I explored my sexuality. I knew a lot about myself in high school and had some complex relationships. Most of these relationships no one really knew about because they were with guys. When I had problems I had guys I would turn to in chat rooms and such.

It all goes back to 8th grade when my best friend growing up and I found a stash of porn. His name is Adam. Now, even back then I knew I had an attraction to guys. In the locker room for gym class I would check other guys out because I was interested in seeing what other guys looked like. I was curious. As time went on, it became apparent that guys were measuring up and seeing who was the biggest. On the football team, it was common talk.

Adam and I ended up experimenting a lot together through high school. Even at a time when we both had girlfriends, we would still hook up on the weekends. It all started with that stash of porn. It was during a sleepover at his house and watching the porn and both wanting to jerk off. We both jerked off, kind of checking each other out as we did it. The next weekend, he wanted to jerk me off so I said fine. I was not going to turn down a hand job. This was the first time someone else had touched me and it felt awesome. By the end of that night we had both sucked each other off and had an amazing time.

I was lucky to have AOL at home, I was able to chat with other guys and from the sound of what I was reading in chat rooms, it was totally normal for 2 guys to jerk each other off and experiment. We were young, just in high school, no big deal.

Adam was a good looking guy. He was on the schools soccer team, had a great body, brown hair and brown eyes. No one really ever suspected that we were hooking up. We were good friends. Over the course of freshman year, Adam and I would hook up on weekends, at sleepovers.

During that time I dated this girl Sue who was on the girls Volleyball team. She was sweet and it just did not work out between us.

That spring, I again went out for football and made the team. Over the summer we had conditioning practice at the high school. It was on Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights. Starting at 4pm about 70 student athletes would show up to train outside and use the weight room. Football had 3 stations. One was in the main gym working on speed, agility, and coordination. Lots of sprints and other exercises where it kicked our asses.

The second was outside in the football stadium. There we would train for endurance and that was the least fun of them all. It was all running. ½ mile and get a 10 second rest, then a ¾ mile and rest and so on. For 45 minutes all we would do is run. The last station was the weight room. Doing circuit training and free weights. It all depended on where you lined up at the beginning of practice. We counted off by threes and tried to arrange yourself to be with guys you knew so you wouldn’t be stuck by yourself.

I always ended up teamed with this guy Dan, who ended up being voted captain that year. Dan was a good looking guy. Italian, 6’2” jacked brown hair and blue eyes. Everything you could ask for. He was always seen with a cheerleader or a chick from the girls soccer team. They were athletic and hot at my high school. We also had one of the best girls soccer teams in the nation. Anyway, Dan took me under his wing for some reason. He was a nice guy to do this for me.

One Friday night, his parents were at the Cape (Cape Cod) for the weekend so he was able to have guys over to party. This was one of the first weekend I was able to really hang out and enjoy being a Varsity football player. I brought clothes with me to practice and after, Dan gave me a ride to his house. His dad worked in construction, so the house was really nice. They lived in a nice part of town and had a pool and hot tub in the backyard. The guys started to show up and I started drinking some rum.

We were playing some drinking games and then some girls from the soccer team showed up. The party was awesome. It was summer, I was getting drunk for one of the first times and I was enjoying myself.

Guys started passing out around 1am. Dan, myself and 3 guys I had grown up with were chillin in the hot tub enjoying the buzz and resting after a rough Friday practice. After the last beers we decided to go pass out. I really wasn’t used to drinking beer so I was very tipsy. I had left my bag from practice up in Dans room. I went up to get changed and we talked about ho excited we were for the season. The team had lost the state championship the year before and really wanted to make another run this year.

We started changing out of our bathing suits and I slipped on my mesh shorts and said I was going to look for a place to crash downstairs. He said I could crash in his room on the floor if I wanted. I decided to. I mean, he was hot and the senior captian. His nickname was “Rhino” because of part of his last name and he was pretty well hung.


As I laid next to his bed, he was getting ready for bed. He stripped down and started getting changed. He looked for his boxer briefs in his drawers, standing around naked for me to enjoy. Looking back, he was standing around for a solid 2 minutes just naked. Of course I was checking him out. Why not. Dan asked if I had ever seen a porn video. I lied, said no.

He took the video out of his closet and put it his VCR and hit play. The porn started with a guy and girl going at it on a couch in what looked like a hotel room. The guy was really hot and I was paying attention to Dan more than the video. After about 5 minutes of awkward silence, Dan said something to the effect of , “damn I gotta jerk off”. I was horny and wanted to also. I said I need to as well. So we both took out dicks out of our shorts and started jerk off. Both of use were looking at each other at one point and he motioned for me to come up on the bed. I got up and sat on the bed. He took my shorts off and started giving me head. Adam had sucked me off before but Dan was SO MUCH BETTER AT IT. That night we hooked up and had a lot of fun.

The next morning I woke up, naked, on the floor of Dans room. Someone was pounding on the door. Dan got up, threw a pair of shorts on and I rolled over and tried to sleep some more. Joey, another guy from my year, came in and jumped on top of me. I was still in my sleeping bag so it was all cool. Guys were going to the diner across town and wanted us to come. We said we would meet them there after a shower. I laid there as the guys downstairs waited for us to be ready. Most of them had taken a morning dip and didn’t want to shower. Dan wanted to before he left. I was laying there and really needed to piss so I walk to the bathroom and open the door. Dan was in the shower, I said I was coming in to piss. I started pissing and he pokes his head out of the shower and grins.

I went back to his room and got changed into clothes and Dan walks into his room and drops his towel. He comes up to me and says something along the lines of , “Mac, you can’t tell anyone about what we did last night. I had a lot of fun and it’s our thing. It’s fun not gay, that cool?”

I of course agreed. Dan and I would end up having fun for the rest of that summer and while he was a senior. I wanted to share that story because I was talking with Jake last night and had all these memories flood back to me. Anyway, I hope everything is going well with everyone else. I’ll talk to everyone soon.

JP