I am PUMPED for this road trip to Boston. I may be a big Yankees fan, but Boston has always been a good time. A field trip in middle school where we got POGS, vsited Bunker Hill and the church where Paul Revere hung the lanterns.
Anyway, the reason for my trip to Boston is a pub crawl for a guy I went to college with. He was in a serious accident, not his fault, and has a spinal chord injury. They are calling it CRAWL TO WALK. I am pretty pumped about it because I am staying with one of my closest fraternity brothers up in Boston and I haven't seen him since this summer.
For any Bostonians that read the blog, get ready for me to take over the city this weekend. I'll be the guy in the NY Giants hat. haha.
I asked and I received. A great self esteem boost that is. I have been in a rutt so to speak. Everyone gets into one. My friend Shane helped me put a lot into perspective. I come on here and let my emotions just run free, yell and scream with my fingers about what is wrong with me and what I am feeling, most times not thinking a lot of stuff through.
I have a great job and not only that, I am building a great career that will lead me somewhere. I have goals. Professional and life goals. I am driven. I'm also just looking for love like every other single guy out there. Gay, Straight, Bi... we are all looking for the same thing. Some just want the one night satisfaction. Some want a long term relationship. Some just want to find someone who can help them find themselves and become a better person.
Many months ago, I posted a profile on Match.com... I had one date from it and it didn't work out the way I wanted it to. The one guy I met from it was perfect for me. We clicked. Had a great date, and then he stopped talking to me because he was already talking to someone and said it wasn't fair to me... but all said months after the fact.
Anyway, I forgot I had it and decided to update it and had someone shoot me a message. He lives in New Jersey. Kinda far away. We have exchanged e-mails and he flatters me left and right. He's cute... a hockey player. Why is it always a hockey player?
Who knows where it will lead. Just something that has cheered me up.
There's also a grad student in NYC that I will be going out to dinner with. A friend of a friend... should be a good one. I just want to know where these CT guys are...
So, some of you may have read a drunk post, that I have since taken down, that I wrote at 5:30am on Saturday morning/ Friday night. I am doing fine and I was being a big pussy. Yea, I said it.
I apparently have some readers from the CT area that keep up with the blog. Welcome. A lot of what I say here will inevitably feature people that you know as I venture into the "dating" world of CT.
Friday night was a good time. My roomie and I drank at our place with some of his high school friends and then had some dinner at a local bar down the street. Afterwords, Dane and I headed to a party in Hartford .
Cooper and Brechi were there and I was very excited to see them. An unexpected delight was a guy that messaged me on myspace was there. He is really cute and I introduced myself. A very cool guy, I got his number and was pretty drunk at that time.
This is where it gets blurry. I remember the host of the party "staking claim" in said cute guy and Cooper told me to stay away from the cute boy so the, "host could get laid"
Why should I stay away from someone that I thought was cute? After the host staked his claim I got a little pist off because who does that? I let it slide off my back but got to thinking about the whole dating scene.
I have been trying not to dwell on this because my job is my priority right now. My number one priority is me, and working out has been paying off.
Saturday night was a fun night hanging out with my friend Pat for a little bit. We went to the restaurant that I used to work at and drank some free beers from the bartender that I knew. Guy, the former fling I was talking about, was working. I really hadn't banked on him working but he was and when I walked in my sister (who works there) gave me a big hug and sat with me at the bar table. I noticed him and he did a walk by and gave me a long stare, which I noticed the last part of.
Pat called it an early night and I did as well. I had a great convo with Justin and fell asleep. Now I am at work recovering from a horrible Giants game. SIGH.
I was surfing around the net today during halftime of the Giants game, which they won, and came across this picture. As I admired the body I realized it looks a LOT like my gym crush Josh's body that I have admired in the fitness center. While some naughty thoughts came across my mind about this, I decided to post it and give you an idea as to what the gym crush looked like. 4 days a week, Josh and I seem to meet in the locker room pre and post workout. It keeps me going back.
This is just a guy I want to bang. Not even bang, just worship his body and cuddle.
The chairman of the Iowa Federation of College Republicans, Benjamin Johnson, was in that last YouTube video I posted the other day about how troops write him and tell him how much they (in my fabulous voice) "Love beef jerkey. Just LOVE IT!"
Anyway, Someone sent me a link to Wonkette called douchebag college republicans. I almost laughed my ass off. Who does this guy think he is fooling. Jean jacket, talking to a YouTube reporter, LOTS of product in his hair and an OH SO FABULOUS inflection. You be the judge people. All I know is that someone in Iowa better look for this guys Manhunt profile or find him on Craigslist M4M because he is somewhere out there. Does anyone read about me in Iowa? Ben, you out there? More after you watch the video...
"I love the bit where Miss Frosted Tips is in her smart little checkered sweater vest blowing bubble-gum bubbles. Because nothing says "take me seriously" like bubble gum and sweater vests!" He does have really cute dimples and think I may have a crush on him. I know, he is a douchebag and a half but there is something about him. He is goal driven, cute, well kept, obviously well off, once he started going all Rudy 9/11 on me I lost interest and am sure I will find him in a bathroom stall in Idaho sometime soon.
BEST COMMENTS FROM WONKETTE
Add the man-lights and the lisp that becomes apparent at about two and half minutes, and he is two clicks away from twirling on top of the speakerbox in nothing but 2(x)ists
Do I fake sexual interest in my girlfriend? Absolutely. Am I petrified at the thought of intercourse with a female? Bingo! Will I go to extreme lengths to hide the nature of my true self? You got it!
He's the type of guy that, when visiting his rival school's frat keggers, drops roofies in his OWN drink in the hopes of being gang-raped by any drink-compromised brothers.
***UPDATE**** After some research , it turns out the Benji, as he has come to be called in the blogosphere, is actually an out and proud member of the Republican party.
BENJAMIN A. JOHNSON, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, attends the University of Iowa and is majoring in pre-medicine. He transferred from Kirkwood College, where he was chairman of its College Republicans and student body president. Currently he is state treasurer of the Iowa Federation of College Republicans. He has participated in many political campaigns and organizational projects, such as“Conservative Coming Out Week.”He is a member of the Linn County and Iowa State Central Republican Committees.
Ben if you see this, drop me a line. I'd love to plan an invasion of my own. I am keeping what I had up about him up. It was fun when we thought he was just a closet case, now that we know he is a 'mo you know there are guys drooling all over him.
Just wondering, a lot of you visit and never comment... Just wondering why no one ever comments here? I opened up to Non Blogger Members again. I was getting too much spam so now they are back on for anyone who does not have a Blogger or Google membership.
How many of you have been watching Brothers and Sisters? I have been catching up online at ABC.com and let me tell you, I think this may be the BEST Drama on television. It has excellent writing and everytime I watch I get hooked.
Does anyone else want to bang Justin on the show? He's the youngest Walker. I also have a theory as to why Kevin Walker's boyfriend got sent to Malaysia. Roberts campaign wanted him to not be around for the elecetion. Out of sight, out of mind of the American people. He left so ubruptly and won't call Kevin back. Thinking that Kevin would cheat on him (which is why Scottie is staying at his apartment) and not have to feel guilty about the whole thing.
Thoughts?
And how happy am I that I did not move to LA right now. My job would have been DONE seeing how there is a WGA strike right now. Moving to CT was what was best for my career right now. I am living in the now and preparing for the future. Anyone else want to get on board?
Justin posted an entry tonight and I read it after talking to him briefly while covering a shift at work. For those who do not read Justin's blog, you should. He and I are in the same point in life and it's scary how alike we are in certain circumstances. We are both sporty and all around good guys and somehow we are single and hate hearing from people that we will "find someone" and that we just need to wait.
Any kind of function where I need to bring a date can get depressing. My best friends wedding was a perfect example. I had a lot to do as Best Man so I was somewhat distracted, but a wedding atmosphere is somewhere anyone single can start to get that lonely feeling.
My good friend B started crying at the bar we were at from emotion and alcohol about how he sleeps around and just wants to find someone to settle down with. It was rather comical, but I felt for him and felt the same way.
Friday night I poured out a LOT of emotion to my friend Shane who lives in Boston. He recently broke up with his boyfriend, but still lives with him. It's messy. Shane and I met in college and he tells me all the time that he thinks I am very attractive and while he was dating his boyfriend would tell me that if he were single he would have made a move on me. Deep down I was jealous of Shane. He has a better body, got the cute guys I wanted and had the boyfriend.
We are at different points in life now and I value his opinion. We talked about me, what is going on inside my head a a lot of the shit (lack of a better word) that has been floating around in my head. I am a LOT better today, and now know how focused I need to be in life and I know where I want to go and what I need to do to get there. It's going to take a lot, but I am starting to see clear.
Justin and I will one day attend a wedding, with dates. Until that day comes, where we meet someone that each of us is happy with, we just need to focus on ourselves. Improve what we need to and strive to reach goals.
Towleroad had this video of Ben Johnson, "the state chairman of the Iowa Federation of College Republicans, who leads a flock of 7,000 young devotees" He loves to talk about beef jerkey and is kind of cute. You be the judge because I know you are all thinking what I was thinking while watching this video.....
This week at the Gym has been great. Although, I missed two days this week due to moving into the condo, I am making them up today and Saturday. I'm working this weekend because I switched my shift with someone on Sunday so I could go to the Giants game. So I have to work the weekend, even though I have tonight off. I will be hanging with my friend Lisa and then meeting my roomie for some fun out somewhere.
I am pretty much settled here in CT and into the groove of working and have turned my attentions to the guys I have been crushing on. I have time to focus on them now, which is great and lets my mind relax and absorb the hotness of them all.
I can admit that I have a membership in a certain website that is meant for hooking up. We all have a weakness. I have been using it to check out the guys in the area and see what kind of guys are out there and have not met anyone from it here in CT. I swear.
I was on a few days ago and on my "buddy list" popped up a guy that I recognized as a guy I used to see out in Hells Kitchen all the time. He is always looking like he is having a good time, really good looking and the time I went to talk to him I was stumbling over my words.
I usually don't get that way, but I did.
Thew two guys at work that I have been crushing on are doing well. Ethan has been busy and stopped by the desk a few times for only work related stuff. Josh on the otherhand has been working an earlier shift than usual. While I am heading into the gym he is on his way out for the day. He stopped and said hello as I was walking in. We talked briefly and then moved on.
Crushes are so much fun. Looking back at my crush in Hells Kitchen, I should have got my act together and done something about it sooner.
Dudetube has a bunch of screen caps from the new Dieux Du Stade calendar and boy are they hot. I always look forward to seeing these pics come online every year. My friend Mike got me the DVD one year for my birthday. It was hot, but kind of a tease. Still nice to have that inside glimpse at the guys willing to bare all.
Don't we all wish to have someone like that to come home to at night.
I came across this yesterday and laughed my ass off. Remember AOL 3.0? Parents getting upset when they wanted to use the phone and then knocking you offline. Ahh those were the days. Check it out. I liked how Jack jumps to try and make the modem silent... I can remember trying to do that so my parents didn't know I was signing online.
Also, random, check out the Daily nightly from NBC News... they found the AOL guy... in Cleveland. WELCOME.... YOU'VE GOT MAIL!!!http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif
A study of former high-school American Football players has found that more than a third said they had had sexual relations with other men.
I read this article a few weeks ago and wasn't surprised by the findings at all. I know from experience that it happens. If it's in high school or in college it happens. I am sure all of you are thinking of that hot football player who you really wanted to hook up with in high school. Well, he was probably getting head from one of the guys in the drama department.
I remembered I had the study saved as a draft in my GMail and I brought it back up to share with all of you. The study is just an estimate. 19 of 47 former high school football players say that they have engaged in a gay sex act. nderson defined gay sex as activity intended to give sexual pleasure to another man, even if it was part of a three-way sex act involving a woman.
I would love to perform a study like that. It gets me thinking about all the guys that I have hooked up with that have played high school football... hmm. I wonder....
My weekend was great, except for that Giants loss to the Cowboys. I had a great weekend. Friday I spent it getting ready for my move and then down at my parents house in Fairfield County. I went out for dinner then met my friend Blair for a drink. After I went and met my friend Reid who was at home with his boyfriend.
It was a fun night. Saturday was even better. I took off to hang out in NYC with a few friends of mine before my little sisters birthday party on the Upper West Side. I get to the Bar with my sister on the UWS and my friend Sabrina is there waiting for me. I used to work with her and she is awesome to hang out with.
The bar she had the party at was called Jakes Dilemma. It’s a college-esque bar complete with beer pong and “Journey” sing alongs. It was a lot of fun. About an hour into the open bar my friend Ryan stopped by and I finally got to meet his boyfriend, who is VERY cute. The night was just a lot of fun. My sister had a lot of friends stop by from her school days in New Jersey, back home from high school and of course family. A group that came late to the party was a group that she works at a restaurant with. She works every other weekend at a place I used to work at because she is a hard worker and needs the money to help with grad school. The group that came was fun to meet and hang out with and would turn out to be important to help me.
After we left the bar we went to a diner down the street where a weird connection was made. Her friends from the Restaurant started talking about someone at work and the name Guy came up. My ears perked up and a lot of emotion and memories came back. If you go back and read that entry you know that Guy and I stopped talking and I never heard from him again. Anyway, according to my sisters friends, he just got out of jail and is now working at the same place I did 3 years ago before I started working in New York. CRAZY! What I want to do, but won’t, is see how he is doing. I don’t want to search him out. But, if I do run back into him while in the area, I wouldn’t mind.
Sunday… sigh Sunday. The tailgate was fun, I cheered but the Giants lost the game. I can’t even bring myself to talk about the game. Oh well, Detroit here we come.
One of the perks of the new job is that there is a fitness center "on campus" to use whenever. It opens at 5am and closes at 2am. not bad right?? Well, now that I am on a regular gym schedule there are a few guys that are ALWAYS there when I am. I would call them the crushes and Cooper says that they are "TMT" (totally my type)
First one up we'll call Ethan. I see him around the floor I work on and is always dressed very nice. Television is a very relaxed atmosphere and the only people who really dress up are exec's and anyone who works the business side of TV. Ethan is always dressed up in very nice slacks, pressed shirts and dress shoes. Anyway, I first saw him in a meeting and was instantly attracted to him. I have been devising a plan to talk to him...
Second is Josh. He is about the same age as Ethan, 22-24 years old. Doesn't have the size of Ethan but has the body. Josh I only see in the gym. Dark hair and blue eyes, swimmers build and looks like a Jewish Italian mix. You know the guys that you lock eyes with in the gym sometimes and you think, oh god could he be? Well Josh is that guy.
So yesterday, I am getting ready for my workout and Josh walks in to the locker room behind me. He is searching for an empty locker but keeps opening up ones that are already being used. I am the only other person in the room at this point and I laugh because its comical. We start small talk and he is very chatty. Takes his shirt off and shows off his abs and well built pecs. I am in heaven. He has some hair in all the right places and just made me smile.
He got dressed and said "Have a good work out, i"ll see you" and walked out. As I was about to put my sneakers on, Ethan walks from the showers and opens a locker about 3 away from me. He gives me a head nod and says "whats up" I return the nod and take my time as he towels himself off. He has no problem showing off what he has. A great chest, amazing biceps, unlike Josh, he has barely any hair on his body except for a bush that was right above a quite impressive member.
I didn't linger, but still got a great view and headed out to work out. It's been a good week for me. Can't wait to see how this turns out.
While on the subject of Men, I thought I would talk about a documentary I watched last night entitled “My Penis and Everyone Else’s”. It challenges society’s stereotypes of masculinity and gets to the heart of why men are so fixated with their penises. It was very funny and left you to think about why most heterosexual men are so obsessed with the size of their manhood.
I am so excited! One year ago today I posted this entry. Looking back I was so stupid to post under the name "Jesse" but whatever. No Big Deal. I look back at that entry and look in the mirror today and see someone very different. I have a new job, no longer live in New York or that apartment I could not stand on 125th Street and just overall better in life.
I have met a lot of people because of this random nook on the internet. Cooper, Billy, Brechi, Chris... the rest of the Blogger Boys in NY. You guys made my summer a lot better and I miss you guys living out here in CT. I am happy that I became fast friends with you guys and seriously don't know what I would do without your advice and encouragement.
There are a number of other bloggers that I read consistently that I have had the pleasure of chatting with about anything and everything. Justin in Chicago, Tim out in SLC, JR in LA, "Blake"/Cameron in Kansas, Micifus Phil, Debriefing the Boys Matt, Nick, Chris, a lot of you! Thank You!
There are some readers out there, who do not blog, who have been with me from the start and have caught up a long the way. Getting feedback from you guys helps me see a different side of a situation or problem. It's great.
This Week about 2800 people came to check out the blog. 11,658 people came by in May and I had over 19,000 page views. What the hell happened in May? That was by far the best month, numbers wise. Over this next year I hope to share some new experiences with you, even though I am no longer in the city, I want you to keep coming back.
Last but not least, a big thank you to Slugger who encouraged me to blog about my crazy life. Without him I would never know any of you!
Thank you to everyone! Here's to another great year!
Thanks to Towleroad for pointing this story out. Toronto Maple Leaf winger Jiri Tlusty is caught in a "scandal" so to speak. It seems that Jiri was out celebrating a birthday and was photographed licking a friend of his. If any of you have hung out with Hockey players (or Rugby players for that matter) you would know that they are a very homoerotic bunch. The Canadian Tabloids have made a big deal out of this asking him if he was gay, to which he said, "I am not gay or bi nothing."
I have always been a big NHL fan and played the game for 7 years of my life. I miss playing sports as much as I did when I was younger.
Anyway, the story won't go away up north because of some naked cell phone pics that have popped up on the internet.
CLICK THE PICTURE FOR THE NSFW VERSION.
AHH naked NHL players. Naked teenage NHL players. Enjoy.
Very fast, ONY is coming up on it's 1st Birthday! I am very excited about it! I am planning a party in New York very soo so standby for details.
I am staying true to myself and what I want to accomplish. Today was a great day at the gym. Lifted for about an hour and then ran for a solid hour. I feel great. A few of you have suggested things to eat, work to do in the gym and a lot of other great tips.
Last week I was talking with a reader that I haven't talked to in months. He was always mysterious, yet willing to share feelings, thoughts and his experiences in New York City. I saw him online and I said hello. Turns out, he has had a great 6 months. In that time he has lost a lot of weight and got into shape and is currently seeing someone.
Our conversation went on to how the last time I was in okay shape was college and I made an attempt with the personal trainer last year, only to realize how expensive it was and have my work schedule changed so I could not get into a routine.
Now that I am in a routine I have a lot more motivation to go to the gym and eat right. The "diet" so to speak is still in the works. I move next week into the condo so I am still in flux with that. What's great though is my motivation to work out is strong. In the past year I don't think I have gone more than 5 days away from a gym or going for a jog. I think my Vegas trip destroyed months of work, but I still wokred out on a shitty schedule.
My workouts have been great. 5x a week I leave for work early and hit the gym 2 hours before work. I do some lifting, some abs and then spend the rest of the time on the cardio machines. I also get an hour lunch break which I come back and do some more cardio.
I know the cardio means nothing when you don't eat right and don't pig out so I am working on it friends.
Otherwise I had a great weekend. Nothing to shake a stick at. I will be in New York next weekend for my little sisters birthday party. Hope to see some of the regulars and make a trip to the usual places.
While at work today I was reading through some e-mail and doing my usual "work stuff" and I came across a story on Zach Puchtel. Zach played basketball at the University of Minnesota and recently talked about his sexuality as a former NCAA athlete.
In the interview with gopherhole.com, he talks about how he came out and his current feelings...
GH: When did you first realize you might be gay? ZP: I think most people question their sexuality growing up, but for me it had been lingering. It had been a question in my mind for quite a while.
GH: You had a serious girlfriend, right? ZP: Yes, I dated her for close to a year and half.
GH: How did she react when you told her? Was she surprised? ZP: I had shared some feelings with her, but yeah, she was shocked. She was very understanding. For the record, I’m not gay, I am who I am.
GH: Does that mean that you are interested in dating men or women? ZP: Women
GH: I'm a little confused, how is that coming out if you still want to date women? ZP: I had to find out exactly where I stood with my own sexuality, and so I did.
GH: So...you experimented and realized you did want to be with women? ZP: I’m at a point that if I met someone and loved them, I wouldn't let their gender get in the way, and I don’t think anyone should.
GH: Do you think being openly gay on a college team would negatively affect recruiting, or do you think other coaches would use it as negative recruiting? ZP: I’m sure that it would some places, then again, smart, accepting, progressive people would most likely be attracted to it.
I have had some really great readers e-mail and ask about how I have dealt with coming out on my own. So far, I have not had a negative experience. I like how Zach is himself and just open to his emotions, attractions and feelings. Some hardcore gays may say, "that's bullshit, he should choose a side. there is no such thing as being bisexual, he is in denial."
I truly think that someone can be attracted to both sexes and like one sex more than the other but still be open for love wherever it comes from. Love is a strange beast that comes out of nowhere and drags you along on an unchartered journey. We are all awaiting for that journey to begin, some are on that journey right now.
I wish I had found Zach's Blog The Search, before the article was published, but that's ok. Check him out. He's smart and funny.
I am PUMPED for this road trip to Boston. I may be a big Yankees fan, but Boston has always been a good time. A field trip in middle school where we got POGS, vsited Bunker Hill and the church where Paul Revere hung the lanterns.
