Nothing Golden

I give shout outs to guys who contact me and if they have a blog I usually link to them. JR over at Nothing Golden Stays started his blog a month ago and he has some interesting stuff to say. Even though he has only been blogging for a few entries he has had some good ones. Check out his first post here.

His sister asks him, "Are you straight? ... or... both? or what? ... I don't care, I mean, it's not a choice." My sisters pretty much know about me. I haven't confirmed it with them but they know. Anyway, check out JR, tell him I sent you and make sure you guys still give me the same love you always have.

Happy at Work

wait... WHAT!??!?!? Could this be happening? JP happy at work? Yes you read it right folks.

It's what we call VR season at work, Vacation Relief. So, for my shift there are 4 of us all doing the work that really only takes 2 people. So there is room for us to go off and do other things if need be. I have been miserble lately at work so it's nice to feel accomplished at the end of a work day knowing that I have been a help.

I went to our Exec. Producer and asked if I could work in our editing facility the next few weeks as an extra hand to do anything possible for the morning show. She agreed. My position is entry level. My title is entry level. But I know how to edit video and am a pro at finding video fast and being able to cut it down. It's a skill I have always been good at. So I have been filling in as an Operations Producer making sure that video used on the show is on the right sever for playback to use. The Ops Producers know me and I have got beers with them outside of work and they are a lot of fun to hang out with.

The first two days I did some stuff that helped them out. No big deal. Today for some reason was a disaster at work. I didn't do anything wrong... I had to fix what a lot of other people did wrong. I was busy the entire day till the show was over and was given responsibility beyond anything anyone has ever done with my title at work. I gained a lot of respect from people and for the first time in a long time, I am feeling good about work and my job. Crazy eh?

As I write this I am chatting with Billy telling him that since I have met him and Cooper, life has been a lot better. Guys to hang out with who have similar interests, and in Billy's words, "like dick. :-)" Yes, he put a smile on it.

Anyway, thought I would share that with you guys. It's a good week so far... now if only Carlos would call me soon it would make this the BEST WEEK EVER for JP.

Weekend...

My weekend seemed to go on forever. I had a last minute change in my weekend plans thanks to my parents. They had been depending on my Aunt being available to watch their dogs but she was not available. My sister, conveniently was going away for the weekend with her new boyfriend and that left me to take care of Buddy and Bella.

Friday after work ended I jumped on a train and my Uncle picked me up at the train station and dropped me off at my parent’s house. I let the dogs do their business and my weekend began. Drove back to NY to play company softball. After a nap I went and had beers with a few fraternity brothers of mine.

Saturday is the interesting part of my weekend. Well, first interesting part of my weekend. I did a bunch of laundry Saturday during the day and my dad called that night saying that they would be running late so I would be staying in Connecticut. I called my fraternity brother Phil and he was close by at a BBQ so I went over and had some free food and hung out. I really wish I was in the city but I was stuck in CT. I decided to hit up Gotham in New Haven which is gay on Saturday nights.

I walked in, got a drink and hung out for a little bit. I was going to get a second drink and I saw him. 6 foot, blonde hair, about 180 pounds, cute face blue eyes. I went right over to where he was at the bar and struck up conversation about his tats. Turns out he is a Marine. He was there with his friend who was there visiting a bartender he used to work with….

I played along with the story. We keep talking and we get into a conversation about baseball and a little bit of football. He calls me the coolest gay guy he has ever met. Then the topic turns to sex. As we are talking, I notice that his pants are bulging.

I had a few drinks and bluntly asked him why he was getting hard and he said that he was just “excited to see me” with a sly wink. Sigh… “straight” marines. He pulls a Cooper and says how “fat he is” even though he isn’t. He lifted his shirt up and he had a nice stomach. His friend comes back from wherever he is and has 2 girls with him. They go outside to smoke and the Marine stays to talk with me. I have to go to the bathroom and he tags along with me. We are talking at the urinals and he keeps looking over at me peeing. I shake it for a little too long and figure why not give him a show. As we walk out of the bathroom he wants to thank me for the drink I bought him and he wants to go dance. We head out to the dance floor and head to the back. He take a glance around and then starts to grind into me. We keep dancing and he is hard as a rock. I take the opportunity to just rub his entire body while dancing and even give his package a feel whispering in his ear, “having fun?” He looked at me and said yes, leaned in and kissed me.

He wanted to go back downstairs and grab a drink. We get downstairs and his friend wants to leave with the girls he met, at the gay bar. He doesn’t want to go but his friend is persistent. He gives me his number and says to call him whenever.

How the hell do I meet these guys.. anyway, I get back to the city on Sunday and meet up with Cooper, Chris and a friend to watch the Parade. The parade was fun. After the parade we went to get food and hit up a few bars.

I’m really tired and wanna sleep. I’ll finish this later.

Raising Ca$h Money

Thursday night my softball team had a fundraiser to help pay our umpire fees. It was such a good time and I seem to be making a habit of going out on a Thursday before work. First I need to thank Billy, Cooper and Chris for coming out tonight and supporting the team.


Cooper had a really good night winning a David Barton Gym package and a nice silver bracelet. Anyway, we had our fundraiser at the Ritz, a bar in Hells Kitchen here in NYC. I walk in and see Billy and we end up at the bar with Cooper and Chris. One of my teammates needed me to sell raffle tickets so I left the blogger boys and went off to sell some tickets.


The first guy I sold tickets to was nammed Carlos. A very cute Puerto Rican who now lives in New York. He bought some tickets, we talked. He has a very cute face and loved to flirt with his eyes and facial expressions.

We kept talking and at one point I had to go and sell some more tickets to people. He told me to come find him. Selling these tickets gave me free reign to go and flirt with cute boys and sell tickets. One guy who I sold tickets to also won and he gave me his number.

I was walking back into the backroom at the Ritz and Carlos and I make eye contact. He waves me over. We started talking again and the rest of the night we chatted and I feel bad that I didn't spend time with Cooper and Billy.

It was ready for me to go and he was sad that I had to leave and I said, "How about I take you to dinner sometime so we can continue this?" He said sure and wanted to walk me to work. It was about 15 blocks away and we walks, held hands for a little bit and he said he would call me later. We will see.

Don't Ask... Don't Tell

I was reading through Towleroad today here at work, and came upon his entry on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. He posted a video from Robert Greenwalds Brave New Foundation regarding the firing of gay Arabic linguists and the U.S. military's shameful policy.

There's a shortage of military translators who know Arabic. One of the translators who is fluent in Arabic was discharged from the military in March because he's gay. Stephen Benjamin was a petty officer second class in the Navy, stationed in Fort Gordon, Georgia. He attended the Defense Language Institute, graduated in the top 10 percent of his class, and spent two years in the Navy as an Arabic translator. He violated "don't ask, don't tell" by instant messaging his former roommate who is also gay and was stationed in Iraq. The message, which made reference to their sexual orientation, was on the military's chat system. The system is monitored on government computers and randomly checked. After their message was read by inspectors, Benjamin was given an honorable discharge. His former roommate was allowed to finish his tour in Iraq before getting his honorable discharge.



Source: Towleroad

Stephen Colbert interviewed Stephen on The Colbert Report last week.



It sucks knowing someone in the military that is gay and that they can’t express who they are. Some don’t want to be out while they serve, and I have no problem with that. I am by no means saying that these young soldiers should be out. If a soldier does want to serve openly gay, they should be allowed to.

In an interview Stephen says, “when I first joined, I was pretty paranoid. I just didn't tell anyone, I kept to myself. And then once I finally got to Georgia, which was my duty station after my training, I met a lot more gay people and I met a lot--just a lot of friends. And, you know, we all hung out together, and it's kind of hard to hide that. And it was never a big deal. No one ever cared. So I guess I kind of just fell into that and just got lax with, you know, which people I told or which people--I didn't guard myself as much.”

The interview went on: “Now, the way you've described it, you were a part of a circle of gay people where you were stationed who hung out together. And you kept each other secret. So now that you're out, does that mean they've been outed, too? Do you know what I mean? Does it become clear that they're gay because you were part of that circle, and are they worried now about getting discharged themselves?

Mr. BENJAMIN The group I was in was kind of interesting because most of us were out to our peers and our officers for the most part. And there are plenty of street people in our group as well. So I don't necessarily think an association with me means, `Oh, hey, that person might be gay.' But rumors aren't enough under the policy, usually, to kick someone out. I mean, that's not really stopping someone's command from going to check out their MySpace profile to see who their friends are or, you know, just starting an impromptu kind of under-the-table investigation. But I don't really see that happening because for the most part, the senior leadership don't want to kick people out under this policy. But they're still kicking out two or three a day military-wide because they're forced to.

GROSS: Is there a whole code that gay people speak in the military so they can talk about being gay without using the word gay, and without therefore violating policy in an overt way?

Mr. BENJAMIN: Yeah, actually. We use the word family to describe ourselves. `Is he family?' That kind of thing. It's kind of amusing, because we really were family. I mean, they're some of the closest people--some of the closest relationships I ever had were in the military.

Anyone who wants the entire transcript can E-Mail me here. killerblender [at] gmail dot com

New Blog Links, the Intern Update, Random

I have been lazy with linking to some of the blogs I read on a daily basis. Even though some of them barely update (COUGH COOPER....COUGH SLUGGER) I still check in and see what's going on!

Some of you have been asking me for an update on the Intern... so here it is. He sent me a text message over the weekend saying he couldn't make it in... that was okay because I had a LOT going on this weekend.

As soon as he got in tonight he came into my room and rubbed my shoulders. SIGH... he is wearing a tight AF grey polo shirt that shows off his body. He wanted to make sure that I came and got him before I went to get food from the catering table. He has been asking me about what he should do with a female intern that is working in our department. He asks me and then smiles waiting for my responce. SIGH

He wants to hang out this weekend, but I am sure I will be busy celebrating NYC Pride, it's my first. I am sure I will be low key...

I was sitting here at work and decided to see who links to me... and a website that I LOVE reading wrote something about me and I didn't even know it. Entertainment Lawyer, serves up some pictures and Blind Items about celebrities and it's a guilty pleasure of mine.

"These three blogs are wildly different from each other and really have a tenuous connection to the gossip world. The thing that makes them great is they all link to my blog. No, but that is how I discovered them. They are all well written and will entertain you and keep you busy at work and beyond. Give them a read

OVERNIGHTNY: The first blog is written by a gay man in NYC who documents his struggle to find a good job in the entertainment industry and to find a man he can love. Deeply personal and also filled with lots of shirtless men for you ladies and gentleman who prefer that type of thing"

I do try to peek certain people's interest with shirtless cute boys. I mean why not, right?

I may need some advice soon regarding someone I met here at work through company softball. Stay tuned for more on that.

Ahh Facebook

I am a BIG Facebook-oholic. for those of you who don't know what Facebook is, it started off as a social network available to only college students with a .edu e-mail address. Now it is open to anyone to join. It's a LOT less sketchy than Myspace. Anyway, There is a "News Feed" that gives me random information about some of my friends like when they add new pictures and if they removed "The Hills" from their favorite TV shows list.

The best are when my friends add new pictures. Even better is when they have cute friends without shirts on.

CURSED?

I am paying today at work. After I wrote my posts for the day I ended up heading to grab lunch with two of my friends on the East Side of Manhattan. We ate, drank margaritas and talked about mostly my night last night with a bunch of people from work. I also found out that this girl, Kelley, had a HUGE crush on me and then we hung out one night and she saw me hitting on a guy and her world came crumbling down. Oh well.

My confidence is on the rise and I have been meeting some great people and friendships have been flourishing lately. Things are great with friends from school, my friends in the city are awesome and the guys I play softball with are amazing. So why am I cursed?

Over the past month I have met some awesome guys. Since I have moved to the city I have met some amazing people. There have been some rough patches but everyone has those and should be expected. But I really think I could be cursed when it comes to guys. Why do you ask… two examples and they both read this blog so they can’t be angry with me.

First, Tim. Tim came to the realization that he is gay not too long ago. After starting to come out he met a very nice guy who he has really fallen for. All within the first few months of him being “out”. I envy Tim for that and have told him on several occasions that he is lucky to have found that right off the bat.

Second is “Jared”. Jared lives in the Midwest US and contacted me from reading the blog. He is deep in the closet and told me that I was one of the first people he could ever type the words “I’m Gay” to. Jared and I became great e-mailing buddys and talked on AIM while I was at work. He developed a crush on a guy he worked with and at one point I thought it would have developed into something else.

He has been absent for the past few weeks and had no clue why. Readers come and go, IM and then disappear. It happens. He signed on the other day and surprised me. He had met a guy at work who he became good friends with and developed an attraction to. One night the friend starts asking questions about what Jared thought about Gay rights and so on… the conversation turned to both of them coming out to one an other and they are now dating. This is Jareds first experience with a guy, first person he tells and now he is dating.

I have had a, umm, long drawn out coming out process and started in high school messing around with guys and now want something more than just a quick fuck or a internet hook up.

How do these good looking guys find a guy within weeks (sometimes minutes) of coming out and all of a sudden be in a relationship?

Please do not get me wrong. I am very happy for both couples and at the same time, I live in one of the biggest cities in the world and has a large gay population. But I still can’t find that guy that is right for me. There are times where I don’t care and times where I do.

The last month I have met 2 or three guys that have potential. I am not banking on Gino calling me back at ALL. Which sucks because I found him very attractive and fun to talk to. Another guy named Rich is just “really busy” along with everyone else.

I even had a guy tell me that my hours were a reason why he could never date me. It pissed me off to no end and the smallest things pissed me off and I blew them out of proportion.

I thought my curse was because I am a BIG sports fan. Sports have always been a part of my life. Matt from DTB had this take on the situation:

“I wouldn't be surprised if most gay guys would be either put off or intimidated by a rabid sports fan. Put off for one of two reasons: 1) they assume you are a self-hater, pretending to like sports to feel more masculine/mainstream or 2) they are so pleased to have come out (i.e. not to have to pretend to like sports to fit in) that any thought of having to pretend to like sports again to date somebody who does is not something they look forward to. Intimidated because they might equate sports fans with the uncles and brothers and local police chiefs and burly coaches who made fun of them when they were growing up for not being able to properly throw a football. The idea of sports, and of being asked to engage with sports in any way, brings them back to an unhappy place.I could be totally wrong and/or making this up, but it's what came to mind when you suggested guys ought to like you for being a sports fan but don't”

Is it bad to be searching for someone to be a companion with? I know relationships just happen when you don’t want them and when you least expect it. Any and all comments are welcome and I hope some kind of discussion can happen here because this whole situation baffles me.

Weekend

My weekend has been a blast and it is coming to a close. It is so nice outside and I will roll out of bed soon and walk around the city. But I want to lay here (cue Snow Patrol: Chasing Cars) and bang this post out.

Friday started off great. I played company softball after work. What's cool about the team is that it's mostly all guys around my age who like to play, can play and love to go out drinking afterwords. We won the game, 29-2 I kid you not. During the game, most of the guys on the team took their shirts off and I was given a nice show. The guys are in great shape and I work with them so it's fun to see what's under their shirts.

After grabbing beers and food I headed home, showered and my friend Rob called me so I headed to the East Side to watch the Yankees/Mets game. We drank, had a few appetizers and drank some more. It was fun. After the game we debated on where to go so we took a cab over to Hell's Kitchen to see where the night would take us. Rob's two cute friends joined us at POSH. We drank, GoGo boy was there being dumb as rocks but fun to look at. We were having grate conversation, laughing and I was kind of hitting on this guy Ed who has a boyfriend. I didn't know he had a boyfriend but thats ok.

I bring that up because later in the night, this guy starts talking to me. He starts off the conversation saying, "It's so nice to see straight friends out to support their gay friends." I laughed and told him I was gay. I was wearing a yankees tshirt and hat and I think I just gave off a straight vibe to him. I get up to go grab a drink and he follows me. I order a drink and we are talking and he leans in and gives me a kiss. He then tells me that he wants me to go home him with his boyfriend. WAIT, WHAT?

"He gave me permission to hit on you and wants me to take you home." I was turned off by this. I don't know what, but I was. I got my drink and told him I wanted some time to think and do a lap around the place and that I would come back and find him.

Rob and his friends take off so now I am alone and this couple wants to take me home. A cute italian guy catches me eye. He looks like this hot bartender I used to work with. I say hi. We talk and I buy him a drink. He went to an Ivy League school and was working in some kind of finance job here in New York. We keep talking and he wants to get out of there and go to Mr. Black. We leave, jump in a cab and I see the couple outside as I get in the cab. They both watched as I drove away in a cab.

The guy in the cab with me is named Gino. Such a hot name. While in the cab he asked me why I said hello to him. I tell him I thought he was the best looking guy in the bar and I wanted to buy him a drink. He leans in and kisses me. It was so hot. We get out of the cab and get to Mr. Black. There is a long line outside but he is on the list so we get in. He has some friends there and we grab drinks and hang out. This was my second time to Mr. Black and it's a place where, well, I don't know the words to describe it. It's dark,loud and has a lot of hot looking guys running around. But i was focused on one, Gino.

We made our way over to the DJ booth and he kisses me again. We start making out, grinding to the music and I am in heaven. He wants to get out of there and head out. It's about 4:45am and we jump in another cab.

I woke up the next morning, tired, slamming headache and in desperate need of water. We exchanged numbers and I told him I wanted to see him again. Who knows how this will turn out. I haven't called him yet, just sent a text saying I had a good time.

Saturday I played softball out on Randalls Island. Drama happened with the team, don't really wanna get into it but it started off bad, but trned out to be ok and I got to meet some cool new guys from the other teams.

Last night was AMAZING. Friday was Amazing as well because I met a hot guy at a bar. But Saturday night was my friend Jimmy's bday party. I work with Jimmy and he is a great guy. I woke up after a nap and headed to his party in midtown and saw everyone I like that works at the Network. We had a blast hanging out, talking, dancing, drinking and more drinking.

It was one of those nights that you just love hanging out with people you work with. Some of these guys I don't see during my shift because they are dayside, but the ones I hung out with are the ones I like. My "night" ended at 6:00 this morning at a diner with 2 hot guys I work with. One is VERY cute and I would just love to see him naked. haha

Anyway... good times all weekend. I hope this guy Gino turns out to be something more than a one night thing. I'm heading to Central Park and hanging out and then possibly hitting the gym.

Friends of Friends and One Night Stands

I could not title this entry anything else. Lately, it's been strange how I have been meeting new people here in New York who already know a friend of mine. It's a little crazy. I am not saying that I know everyone in the world, just it has been strange how I am meeting people who know people I know. Example one:

Right after I graduated college I had a few months off over the winter before my job here started in New York. Yes, I gradated in December, no big deal. Anyway, I was working at this Bar and Grill as a bartender and a few of us went out after work one night to this local martini bar where we met this guy nammed Shane. He lived in my hometown, was a year younger than me and just so fun to look at. The girls were all over him and he seemed to be eating it up. I headed for the bathroom and one of Shanes friends pulls me aside and asks, "So I have been debating this all night. Your a cute guy, I have been talking to you all night and I keep seeing you eye Shane, are you into guys?"

I said yeah and she just smiled. I am coming out of the bathroom and Shane is there waiting to go in. I give the "what's up" nod most guys have perfected over the years and he smiles and we lock eyes. We both keep smiling and he walks into the bathroom and I decide to wait for him. He comes out a few minutes later and he asks me if I was being serious. I said yes and the rest of the night we talked outside. He is a BIG Giants fan, has season tickets like me and all I could think about was how perfect this was.

We didn't hook up, and still haven't to this day. I saw him at almost every Giants game last season. But when we became myspace friends, I saw that he had a boyfriend that he never told me about. Younger than him at 21 years old. They looked so cute in their pictures and then I realized, I had a one night stand with his boyfriend the previous summer after we met at a bar.

Shane found out and I didn't know that they were dating at the time. The last few weeks it has been even stranger.

This story happened all in one night mind you and it blew my mind. I was hanging out with some friends from work eating dinner on the Upper West Side and after dinner we split up and went on to do some seperate things. I ended up going to Vlada, a bar in Hells Kitchen here in NYC. I walk in, grab a drink and think to myself, this is one drink then I will go home. Well, I run into my friend Rob, also a Big Giants fan and he introduces me to his friend, we are talking and I excuse myself to go to the bathroom where I run into this guy Derek who used to work at my University. We talk, he is surprised I am there and he says he is there with his friend Ryan. Ryan turns around and it's a guy I work with. So after a potty break I bring them over to where Rob is and we all start talking. So random. I get a tap on my shoulder and this guy Chris, who was my best friends college roommate hugs me and says hello.

This was all seriously happening. It was crazy. Chris introduces me to his friend Rich who I have talked to a few times after meeting and who knows what will happen. Chris and Rich had a few friends there so now we are this big group where no one knew eachother but more than half the group knew me. Rich's friends come over and join us and one guy was datinga guy from my high school and one worked at the rival morning show and knew some of my friends that worked there. It was a fun random night.

You sometimes forget how many connections you have to people and realize that you have a great group of friends. The list is expanding and I love it. I love meeting new people and this weekend was just a great one.

More on that later.

Hey Giants Fans

NY Football Giants fans that is. I started a blog called NYTD Blue. It's a blog all about the Giants. If you guys are interested in the G-Men or just want to check it out... go right ahead.

http://www.nytdblue.com/

The Intern

I talked last week about a freelance editor who I have started being friendly with. For all intensive purposes, because he is 19, I will call him The Intern. A LOT has happened since I last posted.

Last night, about 20 minutes after he got in, he poked his head into my room to say hello. I was VERY busy at that point, said hi and played it cool. I am such a dork for crushing on this kid. I told him I was busy and that I would stop by later on. A few hours later we went down to get our free catered meel and while on the way we talked about our weekends.

Nothing exciting, just said I had a fun time and mostly talked about The Sopranos ending (which I loved) From there we talked about plans during the week and I had to get back to producing a segment that was given to me last minute.

Around 4am I have to start archiving a lot of the video we use for the show and I use an edit room right next to his. He had nothing to do so he joined me in my edit room. He commented on a bunch of my pictures on facebook and said it looks like I know how to have a good time and then he asks:

"Can we hang out this weekend?" looking right into my eyes with his. Slight smile I say of course and we plan on hanging out this weekend. I mean, why not. He isn't an intern, he is a staff memebr and I don't have a policy. Ok, so what, he is 19 but what the hell.... it's not like anything is going to happen

If you haven't seen the final scene from The Sopranos don't watch the above or read the last part of this post.

The entire weekend, I think Journey came on my iPod about 12 times before this aired. I have watched The Sopranos mostly through DVDs and love the series. There was so much media build up over if Tony was going to get killed in the final show. Picking "Don't stop Believin'" was a great way to end the show. Because you can't stop believing what just happened. It also leaves it open for the fan to decide what happens.

Maybe there will be some fan fiction over what happens after Tony looks up. I think Americans don't like endings that don't end. They think it's a cop out and get pissed when they are toyed with. In my opinion, if they had ended the show with Tony getting whacked it would have ruined the entire series. It would have been so cliche. I think it's great that the show ends with Meadow running into the diner as the family enjoys a meal together... maybe it's their last meal.. we may never know what happens. It does leave some stuff to be tied up, but I think it's a great ending to the show. I love the suspence that it leave you in... You think everyone in the place has a gun and is about to put a few bullets into Tony's chest. It doesn't happen but you keep thinking something is going to happen and I love it.

Also... not on a Sopranos note... during our blog meet up the guys brought up how I like to post stories with college aged guys not wearing shirts. It's something that gets me through the night and also entertains you guys with some candy while you read.

I always like feedback, let me know.

Happy Hour Weekend

Well, there I am. I haven't posted a picture of me on the blog and debated on whether or not to but, what the hell.

Last Friday I went and met a few guys who blog in NYC and I have to say it was SUCH a fun time. Very cool to meet the guys behind the blogs I read while at work. It's also kind of cool that what brings us together is that we have blogs. All of the guys were so friendly and fun. I did get into a big sports conversation with Cooper and Billy and some of the guys felt alienated but that's ok. I do apologize for all the sports talk.

This was taken at Posh in NYC. In order from L to R.. me, Cooper, GoGo boy, Brechi and Billy. We started happy hour at Barrage in Hell's Kitchen and Brechi has a good rundown of what happened out there.

We grabbed food at Eatery and ended at Posh for a few more drinks. Apparently GoGo boy is new there and wanted us to come back on Wednesday. I mights stop by only because GoGo boy kept touching my leg and rubbing my back during the night. No doubt he has a nice body... and we talked Yankees, and he apparently fucked a pie at a club called Boys Room one night American Pie Style... but he couldn't remember our drink order... an Amstel Light, Bacardi and Coke, Stoli and Soda and a Stella. If anyone can guess who got what drink I will give you some kind of prize.

The rest of my night was pretty fun. After leaving the bloggers, I met up with a friend of mine who is going to work in the Middle East with the state department. I know I am pretty jealous. She was born in the US and her parents are from Iran so she has an interest over there. I ended up going to see her at a bar on the east side called Central Bar.

I had been drinking since 5:30ish that afternoon and it was now about 11:30pm and I was a little tired, Jager bombs came around and of course I had to drink them. The bar was a good time, filled with a bunch of young people who work at the network and wanted to say goodbye. It's always fun seeing the social side of people you work with when you go out.

There were a bunch of hot college guys in the bar who were obviously really drunk and kind of all over eachother. I thought it was fun because here I am dancing with some of my best girlfriends in the city, at this college-esque bar and I get some great eye candy for myself. I made eye contact with a few guys, held for a while but nothing happened. I got TWO phone calls later that night. The first was from Kevin. I guess I had texted him the night before and I haven't heard back from him. He called and was wondering where I was. We talked on the phone and I turned out to be 4 blocks away from his new apartment.

We decided to meet up for a drink and hang out. I left my friends, who were all getting ready to go to a diner nearby and met up with Kevin. As I was walking, my friend Paula Walnuts called me. We talked about how we needed to hang out and she may have "someone" for me but wanted to know if it was cool if she gave my number to someone. I said why not.

I got to Kevins and I walked into his apartment and he gives me a kiss right on the lips. Kevin and I are, for the lack of a better term, booty call friends. I have called and asked him out to dinner and to hang out but it always ends up being a sleepover. What makes our booty call sessions even more un-like a booty call is that we never have full out sex. We hook up, and my definition of that is anything besides penetration... TMI? Whatever, I wanted to be clear that I just don't go around fucking anything that walks. I just have some heavy petting sessions.

WOW... anyway... that's my weekend in a nutshell there.

Intern Season

We got our list of interns at work. While I do not have one working under me the entire time, a few have asked to shadow me during some of my tasks for the morning show. It's no problem.

There are always stories about how a "wide eyed intern" will "do whatever it takes" to impress everyone they work for and even sleep with someone in power to secure a job after graduation. Sad but I know a few people who have done it. All of them have been women sleeping with men.

This story however is not about an intern, even though he is still in college. About a week ago I was having a conversation with a co worker of mine in a break area. A young, cute guy walked in, looked at the stale bagels and took a soda and walked out. I had seen him before while he was in an edit room but we never went any further than eye contact and the occasional smile.

A few days ago, I was given the task of producing a segment for a show that I do not usually produce anything for, but have in the past. It's a chance for us to do something and put a producer reel together and say, "Hey look, I did this." I was editing the video of the segment together and the senior producer came up and wanted to look at it. It was a scene from one of the networks reality shows and the guy on it was a lunatic. The clip was hysterical and the senior was pleased. While we were ironing a few things out the young guy walked into the edit room and watched the clip. He thought my idea and how I put everything together was funny. It was our first real interaction together.

I had to finish what I was doing and he went back to an edit room. I did what I had to do and a few hours later I was walking back to my desk and I heard him yell "HEY" from his room and got my attention. I walked in and he complimented me on the segment. He also complimented me on my appearance on the show a few days earlier. Every so often I appear on a show and do various things that are not limited to guessing prices of products like on the Price is Right and giving my opinion on "Young people and society" I laughed and introduced myself and we exchanged names. I asked him if he was an intern and he wasn't... he was a freelancer. I was intrigued.

I figured if he wasn't an intern he would be around my age. Nope, he's 19. We kept talking and found out we have some common interests and the same sence of humor. At 19, he was working as a freelance editor at a network and wasn't majoring in TV/Communications. He is a music student and loves to compose music and wants to for television and movies some day.

We keep talking and he asks me if I know some of the anchors, and I do. I talked about how I have ung out with some after work and even ran into one on the weekend at a bar and met his boyfriend. I was testing the waters...

He couldn't believe that the anchor was gay and nothing more came up about it. We told some stories from college and that turned into a facebook conversation and he added me as a friend on Facebook.

I don't know what will come of this but it's nice to have a cute boy at work around to make the nights go by faster. While we were walking out of the building together he told me when his downtime was at work and said to come hang out.

I am going to do just that.

Last Night

Last night was a great night. I am laying in bed right now with a massive hangover. I called out sick last night from work to hang out with my buddy Sully. I haven't seen him in about 2 months and we both have tried to work out schedules out but, he has a worse sked than mine working in the NYPD.

He is a big Mets fan so I headed out to Shea last night to hang out with him. We had good seats on the Mezzanine on the first base side. We drank a ton of beer, bullshitted and watched a great baseball game. As a Yankees fan, people wonder how I can go to Shea and root on the Mets. It's simple... We play the Mets 6 times a year. To me... Inter-league is only about money for MLB to get the two NY, Chicago and LA teams to play each other and make money off of the national broadcast. Anyway, the ultimate is the Yankees win over the Mets in the 2000 World Series...

Anyway... After the game we headed to Manhattan to get some more drinks. We made a stop at Off the Wagon in the West Village to play some beer pong. I watched the end of the Yankees game there and saw A-Rods GRAND SLAM.

Tony was at a club on 41st street, no clue what the name was, but we ended up there and I proceeded to get hammered. I really don't remember much of the place. We walked in and did shots and grabbed beers. Overall, it was a fun night just to chill with Sully and worth the money spent.

Tonight is a big night for me... I have a Happy Hour meet up with some NYC bloggers and then a good bye party for my friend who is leaving for Morocco next week. The blogger happy hour should be a good time no matter what.

I don't wanna make a habbit of it but, Perez Hilton had on his blog the "Word of the Week" and it was this:

Post-Gay

Definition: Term used to describe same-gender-loving individuals that do not identify or associate with mainstream gay culture.

I thought it was interesting and wanted to see what you guys thought of it.

Today is gunna be the day...

Today was a strange day for me, sleep wise. I came home from work and fell asleep right away because I was supposed to meet up with Tony for some lunch and margaritas. He wasn't feeling up to it so I fell back asleep after a 2 hour nap and woke back up around 3pm and had the rest of my day.

I should have went to the gym but didn't. It's June and I really haven't done much to improve my work ethic. It's something I need to work on because I have been just out right lazy. I did some random chores around my apartment and headed down to the West Village to meet up with Tony and a friend of his from Brooklyn. They met over the weekend and have been hanging out since and he seems like a nice guy.

Tony seems to know everyone. He has an infectious personality and you can't help but want to be around him all the time. It does help that he is a good looking guy, with boyish good looks and a killer smile. He is going to make a guy (or girl) very happy one day. He's smart, Witty, charismatic and creative. This is what helps Tony make friends no matter where he goes. He knows someone EVERYWHERE. No matter what, Tony will know the owner of a bar or restaurant, bouncer, bartender or DJ working the booth. While he is living in Brooklyn he has been going out at night meeting new people and I just wish I had the time to do that with him. I only get out to places on the weekends.

I realize that I am lucky to live in the largest city in the US that also has a great Gay Culture and nightlife. I am also lucky to have a job in television that pays okay but the hours aren't that great. There aren't many jobs available right now. NBC is cutting back... CBS is on the fall... the cable networks who knows... it's just one of those rough spots everyone hits.

I have also realized that I pride myself on being a "non-stereotypical" gay man. Some guys I have talked to say that I am "repressing my inner queen" and need to let it loose. To them I say I grew up playing football (for 10 years), baseball, hockey, tennis, golf, rec basketball and others. I also follow pro sports closely. Instead of smoking meth I am smoking guys in fantasy football. Fantasy Baseball... not so much (said in Borat voice)

After dinner, we parted ways and I headed uptown. I almost stopped at Vlada to grab a drink and see if there was anyone worth meeting or talking to. I decided against it because I didn't NEED another drink and didn't want to be drunk at work. I decided to get off at 59th Street-Columbus Circle and hang out in Columbus Circle.


They recently gave CC a face lift after the Time Warner Building opened. I walked into the circle and there is a monument in the middle to Columbus and benches around the monument. On the outside there are these fountains that fall into a reflecting pool. I sat down on one of the benches and took out my notebook and started writing. I had a little over an hour.


Columbus Circle is a cool place. Sitting on the bench I looked out into Central Park. There were a few straight couples with their backs to me looking into the water and kissing every once and a while, enjoying the cool June night. I usually scribble ideas of what I want to write about into a notebook or work on the short stories/screen plays I have in my head. I took it out and most of this blog post was conceived there. There were some cute guys hanging out there as well. A cute blond, must have been about 24-25 years old reading something on his blackberry. I took a seat near him on the bench and started to write. Looked like something was bothering him. We made eye contact a few times.


He got a call and got up and walked around for a bit. I was concentrating on what I was thinking about, relaxing and thinking about a whole bunch of stuff. It was so calm, the water was so soothing.


I decided that I need goals. Better goals in life and want to make a list. I haven't done that in so long and decided tonight that it was a great time to start. By Sunday, you will have a list of long and short term goals. I am determined to make this work for myself and set out on a path that will help me find myself as more than a young, television drone and get back to what I thought i was going to be as a teenager.

Thanks Brechi

Big thanks to Brechi who has laft a few comments here and there and is a reader of the blog. I started reading his blog today and you should too. Check him out!

EDIT - Billy from Living My Life in NY invited me to a happy hour on Friday... I am pretty excited and I hope to meet some other NY Bloggers.

Support

Thank You to everyone who sent kind words of support after the "Asshole" post yesterday. The guy is an asshole. I do know that this shift is not the definition of my life. I have had some great opportunities here on this shift. All I have to do is keep going.

killerblender@gmail.com is my e- mail, if you have a comment or just want to say hello go for it. I love talking to my readers from all over and when guys from New York say hello, it's even better.

Today was a good day. For those who are Facebook friends with me, you saw why last night was a fun night at work. The shift I am working on now has some more free time to do other things here at work like apply for jobs and work on my writing. Tony has been sending me some short stories he has written and I really got to get off my ass and write some more.

Last night I worked on a project I have been working on since 2004. I had come up with an idea for a script and wrote some background information and it turned into 10 page short film. I wanted to expand it but whenever I would try to get into it and sit down and work, something would always come up. I would start working more bartending during school, swamped with work for school, my internship.

Last night I was able to sit down and just write out a few pages that made me pretty happy. I also went through all my notes that I have accumulated over the past year or so and organized myself and what I wanted to say and how I wanted my characters to come across. So far, I am pretty happy with the progress I made last night and think that I can get a lot more done tonight and over the next few weeks.

Who knows what it will turn into. I have some big plans for it and something else I have been working on the side. Stay positive and things will change for the better. I hope.

TODAY Show Gay Bashes GMA...allegedly

from NY Post Page Six:

June 5, 2007 -- CHILDISH staffers at the "Today" show have been reduced to homophobic name-calling about their rivals at "Good Morning America" - Diane Sawyer, Chris Cuomo, Robin Roberts and Sam Champion. A network source says, " 'Today' staffers, from top to bottom, executives to interns, refer to 'GMA' as 'Gay-MA' " and snicker about the hosts. "GMA" has been gaining in the ratings on No. 1 "Today" and cut its lead in half. For their part, the "GMA" folks are said to refer to "Today" as "Yesterday." Reps for both shows declined to comment.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/06052007/gossip/pagesix/sticks__stones_pagesix_.htm

NBC should be ashamed that it let's its staffers talk like that...

Asshole

I have been out of the loop here lately. Work has been getting to me, as usual. Nothing really to fill you guys in on besides an asshole here in New York.

Why do I call this guy an asshole? We met and have been talking for the past few weeks. I have even mentioned him on the blog. We got into a conversation about the weekend and I brought up how pissed I was that I had to head to work at 10ish that night. Point blank he says, “Yeah, you couldn’t be my boyfriend with those hours.”

I was kinda shocked that it came out like that. I ended the conversation right then and there. Didn’t even want to argue with him because I know that in my mind, if someone’s career has him working weird hours and you can’t handle it, they aren’t strong enough for a relationship. The talk of a relationship never really came up, we had hung out a few times and enjoyed each others company.

It is just hard working these hours, being away from friends and not having much of a social life during the week, or the time to see people you care about, friends or otherwise. It’s just made me more determined to get my ass into gear and get off this shift and work somewhere else. Even if that means moving to the suburbs.