Rest of the weekend

I won't be around much the rest of the weekend. I have my Fraternity 40th Anniversary Banquet. We invited a bunch of alumni, who didn't go to our chapter but are wealthy and live near by, to come and celebrate 40 years on our campus. No matter what it's steak, open bar and drunken good times with some of the greatest guys I know.

So Saturday and Sunday I will be up in New Haven partying my ass off...

I also want to give a shout to M D who e-mailed me yesterday. I love getting comments and e-mail from you guys.

hey man, this is very random for me to be writing to someone like this...but I came across your blog and was taken with how much he have in common: we're both 26, ...we both like sports, both have good senses of humor and an appreciation for the amusing moments in life. ...I thought I'd drop you a line...

All of you guys that read, thanks for reading and putting up with a lot of my bullshit and mood swings. You guys rock!

Hope you all have a great weekend!

I love Fridays

Fridays are turning out to be great days. Work was bleh. I hit the gym after and took a nap. From there I went and bought a new shirt and tie and took a trip to Best Buy to buy the EXACT camera I bought a few months ago (more on that in another post)

Anyway, I was supposed to meet up with someone who reads the blog and lives in NYC. We have been talking on AIM for a little bit and he seemed nice. He had asked me a few days ago late night and I declined saying that I wanted to talk a little longer before we met up. Wednesday night we decided to go meet at a bar near MSG. So back to Friday... I get back from the store and sit down. I had about an hour and a half to get ready, my roommate was taking tokes off of his bong in the bathroom and carrying on a conversation with me as I downloaded music and talked to Tim from I Think I Might Be Gay and Erik a friend back in Connecticut.

Side Note: Erik has a hot ex boyfriend who is also a sort of ex of a friend of mine...

Anyway, roomie leave to go to happy hour, I take a shower in my bathroom smelling of weed and get dressed. I decide to go sporty with jeans, a white AF polo and my khaki jacket. I had sent this guy an e-mail earlier asking if we were still on for today... I check my e-mail and he canceled because he wasn't feeling well. No big deal, this kinda stuff happens.

Jacob, from last weekend, texts me and asks me what I am up to and we decide we will meet for a drink later tonight.

Ryan, another blog reader and writer, and I have been trying to meet up since he moved back to NYC with his boyfriend from Alaska (or Seattle, I forget) he was working at a club downtown and I wanted to go visit, say hi but the place has a cover and is not exactly my kind of scene so decided against it.

I am sitting on my futon, contemplating what to do while I wait for Jacob and my phone rings. I look at the number, don't know who it is, but it's a 917/NYC area code. I answer and it's a guy I have been e-mailing back and forth who lives in the city named Nick. We talk for a little bit about our weekend plans and decide to meet up for one drink.

One drink led to 7 beers and a free shot from the waitress who was hitting on us. Nick and I were in conversation about the Disney College Program that we both did at different times and this obviously drunk girl comes over and starts hitting on me. We get to talking and she asks us how we know each other. She was one of those drunk girls at a frat party that is just oblivious to her surroundings.

Nick got up to go to the bathroom and she asked me if I was into her. I responded back that I was more into Nick. After an awkward beat she goes, "OH MY GOD... YOU GUYS ARE GAY! THAT IS TOTALLY AWESOME. I LOVE GAY GUYS." in a drunken valley girl voice that sounds like Will Forte playing Drunk Girl on SNL.

Anyway, Nick and I had a great night of talking an I don't know what the future holds for us but I do know that he has 2 cats at his apartment and I break out in hives when I am around cats.

Things are looking up!

On Time

Yesterday I got a little annoyed with someone I was interviewing with for a position here at the network. My roommate found out about the opening before it got posted so I was able to jump on the inside track. I emailed back and forth with the senior producer about the position and the earliest she could meet was yesterday at 11am.

I get out of work early at 7am and get home to take a nap before I have to talk to this woman. I had been up since 4:30pm the previous day. Before work I went to the gym, got some food and worked on a spec script I have been tooling around with.

I fall asleep and have some strange Goonies like dream that I write down to remember because it has got to mean something, wake up, get dressed and head down to the office.

I get in about 15 minutes early, print out my resume and get ready to go kick ass on the interview. I go up to the office about 5 minutes early and sit in the assistants area, though, no one is there. 11 rolls around and no sign of anyone… 11:05…11:10…

I go to the office door and knock. No Response. I try the handle and it’s locked. She’s not in there. I sit back down at the desk outside and fire up the computer to see if she might have sent and email from her blackberry saying she is late. Nothings

11:15…11:20

I think to myself, it’s ok, she is running late. My HR manager walks by and asks me what I was doing. I explain the situation and she says the position is perfect for me. Lots of involvement with video and travel to different locations across the US.

11:25… 11:30

I am emailing my friend who is an assistant at the 6:30 National News Broadcast and she gives me advice that I should send her an email saying that I waited for about a half hour and she didn’t show up and if she could reschedule.

11:35… I send the e-mail and wait….

11:45… no response so I head back down to my spot at the news desk, sign in.

11:50… 11:55 still nothing. Now I am pist off, and hungry.

12:03.. she responds with “I got tied up, how about tomorrow at 11?”

So today I have my interview with her and get to go though it all again, prepare myself and such. I think I will go to the gym to work up some energy and take some frustration out. Wish me luck, I’ll give you guys an update later on today.

ALSO… I have a “date” on Friday night so I have that to look forward to.

New York at Dallas

The NFL today announced that the Giants will open their 2007 regular season against the Dallas Cowboys in Texas Stadium on Sunday night, Sept. 9. The game will be televised by NBC.
This is the second year in a row the Giants will play in the season-opening Sunday night game. Last year, the Giants lost at home to the Indianapolis Colts, 26-21, as Eli and Peyton Manning became the first brothers in history to face each other as starting quarterbacks.

The Giants and Cowboys were the NFC’s two wild card playoff teams in 2006. Dallas was 9-7 and lost in the first postseason round at Seattle. The Giants were 8-8 and fell to the Eagles in Philadelphia, 23-20. The two franchises are tied for the most playoff appearances in league history with 28 apiece.

I am very excited about this! The big Sunday night game to open the season, and a game in London!!!

Softball

I joined a softball team here in New York, on the advice of a reader. He had IMed me about the softball team and gave me the e-mail address of the team captain. I shot him an e-mail and at 10:30am on Sunday Morning I met a few of the guys and we had practice in Central Park.

It was great to get out of my apartment for a few hours and do some fielding, play catch and hit some balls. I cranked a few deep which was nice and made some good catches.

I think this will be a good time this spring/summer.

Handsome: Saturday

I woke up Saturday, hung over as all hell and did not get out of bed until about 11am. Did my usual bathroom trip, glass of water and sat down on my futon. I saw my cell phone on the coffee table and checked to see if anyone had called me. I had 4 missed calls from what I thought was work. I checked the voicemail and I had one from Grant wondering if I wanted to hang out and grab lunch. I was excited, but I didn’t have his number, it came up private on caller ID.

He left the name of his hotel on the voicemail and I called the hotel and left a message for him. He called me back and we set a time to meet, 1pm by the subway station by his hotel.

I eventually make it down there after figuring out that the local “C” train was running express and the express “D” train was running local… seriously what the fuck. I made it there and we decided to take a walk by the Hudson River because it was fairly nice out.

We talked about how “American” Australia is and the differences in slang words. Talked about his double life in Australia and how he had guys who were interested in him, but he wouldn’t date. We talked about a lot of stuff and walked down to Chelsea piers and watched a soccer match. Then headed to China Town, little Italy and South Street Seaport.

Next we headed to the World Trade Center. I don’t make a habit of going down to the WTC unless I am taking the PATH from down there. We walk up to the fence and there is this heavy feeling. It’s just a very sad place. I showed him around and explained where the towers once stood and what it looked like before 9/11/01.

We walked up Broadway and didn’t stop until we were up in the West Village. On our walk up I got a text from Jacob, who works more than I do 7 days a week, he was going to meet up with us later on. We went to a diner and I explained to Grant the JOYS of a late night, drunk diner experience from high school to now.

That night, Jacob met up with us and we made a stop at the Gin Mill on the UWS of Manhattan first. It’s a “straight” bar that is a sports bar/college bar/dive bar. We played a round of beer pong and decided to go to a gay bar downtown.

We headed to Therapy, which was okay. Then after a drink headed toVlada. It was a good time, great conversation and a weekend I was really gad to have. We parted ways late Saturday night in front of his hotel and I leaned in and gave Grant a goodbye kiss. We talked about a trip to Australia next year and he said “You have a free place to stay”. Jacob and I are going to take him up on the offer.

Handsome

First off, I am feeling a LOT better. I visited a doctor and he gave me this decongestant that has worked WONDERS for me. Thank you for the e-mails everyone. It was nice to relax and take a sick day and have a chance to just unwind and get better. These long, strange hours take a toll and I think it all caught up with me.

Anyway, I had one of the most random and amazing weekends in a long time. It’s “Spring Time” in New York and of course when people say that it means it is getting warmer. Plus, we will get another foot of snow sometime in the future, because that’s the way it works right? (Damn you Sam Champion)

My Friday was stress free. A nap, trip to the gym, which was cut short because of my headache and sinuses busting through my forehead. I went home and took another nap, woke up and sat on my futon. Debated on going out to a bar, watched some shows on DVR and my buddy Irish Mike IM’s me. He was heading out to dinner with a bunch of girls he knew and wanted to know if I wanted to come along. I passes but said I want to go out to a bar later on. He said he would text me when he got out and that his “friend” Sean would be coming with us. He didn’t really explain, said it was a long story so I let it go.

I was having a few conversations with people while watching Grey’s Anatomy and my buddy Tony IM’ed me. We were just bullshitting, I haven’t finished reading his latest script he had written, and I think he was a little ticked off at me for it but it’s cool. Some how or another the word “handsome” came up. He gave me a pep talk about going out and I went and got all “handsome” and looked in the mirror.

For the first time in a while I felt it. I wanted to go out and have a good night. Sex or “hooking up” wasn’t all that was on my mind… I wanted to meet some cool people and just relax with great conversation.

Mike texts me saying that he is still at dinner and will be out “soon”. I decide to go to GYM and catch the USC-UNC game. I walk by to check it out, see how it looks and it was packed. I walk in, grab a Red Bull and Vodka to get me going and head back to the pool table.

I spot this guy standing against the wall wearing a black Nike jacket, White polo and grey zipper hoodie. He had an athletic build, short buzzed brown hair and a little 5’ o’clock shadow. He had a young face and was watching the pool game but was also looking around. We locked eyes and I decided to say hi.

I walk over, make some terrible remark about the game going on and say “I’m JP”

He responds, “Nice to meet you, I’m Grant.” In an Australian accent. I melted right there. We talk about the pool game and why he was in New York.

He had booked a flight and hotel with his brother and two friends and they decided to drop out 2 weeks ago and got their money back. He decided to come by himself and have a good time in New York. He was also making stops in Montréal, Toronto, Seattle and San Francisco. Not a bad vacation. We talked about Australia and soon our beers finished. I asked him if he had any American beers while he was here and he said no so I left and went and bought him a Sam Adams.

When I came back there were 4 “queens” standing around him and I gave him the beer. One of them turned to me and said, “You’re time is over, find yourself some new meat.” Right in front of Grant. Grants eyes went wide and kindly asked the guys to leave him alone, and took a step closer to me and made eye contact.

We kept talking and it turns out he was just “walking by the bar” and decided to come in not knowing it was a gay bar. He asked me if I was gay and I responded to him saying, yes I am gay.” I asked him if he was single. He said he was divorced and had a 3 year old son back in Australia. He gets even hotter. Remind me to use that line when I go on vacation somewhere. It wasn’t a line, he shows me a picture of his ex-wife and the kid.

By now two more guys have joined our conversation and I am explaining the NCAA tournament. One of the guys is a cop, asks us how old we are. Grant and I are both 26 and he quickly responds with a “31” but looked about 40.

I head to the bathroom and see this cute guy wearing a tan sweater and cool jeans watching the basketball game. Not just watching, but really into it. I do my business and stop to talk to him. His name is Jacob and works in finance. I tell him to come over and talk to us.

Jacob is from Kansas and went to KU. We talk about KU and how he was in a fraternity and only living in NYC for a few months working in the NY office of his companies firm. We are having great conversation and decide to head to another bar.

As we are leaving I think to myself, I went up and talked to two different and cute guys and both are leaving with me to go to another bar. I wasn’t thinking of it in a sexual way, it was just a great feeling getting to know these guys.

Barracuda was next and we kept drinking, took a Jager bomb and talked in the back part of the lounge. Grant asked me for my cell and I gave it to him and his cell worked here in the States.

The cop had followed us to the bar and kind of kept Grant for himself. Every time Jacob and I would try to get him away, the cop would give us a death stare. I got to know Jacob some more and he asked for my phone number.

Last call came and went and we all parted ways. I went home, kind of pissed at myself for not making a move but thought I had got two phone numbers and had some awesome conversation!

Called Out Sick

I haven't been able to sleep today because my chest and sinus congestion is just getting worse... I tried some Claritin D but it's not really working so it's not allergies. I called a doctor in NYC to get an appointment and I am waiting to hear back.

BREAKING...

BRITNEY SPEARS LEAVES REHAB...

You know it's a slow day when people start freaking about this. Senior producers yelling, I NEED VIDEO OF A BALD BRITNEY!!!! ahh the "News"

BC-Britney Spears,0131
Britney Spears leaves rehab after completing program, asks for privacy, manager says
Eds: Will be led. Moving on general news and entertainment services.
By SANDY COHEN
AP Entertainment Writer

LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Britney Spears has left rehab, her spokeswoman told The Associated Press late Tuesday.
"Britney Spears has been released by the Promises Malibu Treatment Center after successfully completing their program," the pop star's manager, Larry Rudolph, said in a statement. "We ask that the media respects her privacy as well as those of her family and friends at this time."
Spears entered the facility Feb. 22.

(Copyright 2007 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)
AP-NY-03-21-07 0221EDT

What I am Reading

I decided to add a "What I am Reading" tab on my blog because I have not been reading as much as I should be. Right now I am reading "Hello, lied the agent." The book is a journal about being a Television sitcom writer in Hollywood. It's hystarical.

The author, Ian Gurvitz, has worked on shows such as Becker and Wings. He also wrote episodes of Frasier, The Wonder years, and Get A Life.

From amazon:
There are many books about the entertainment business but I'm not aware of any besides 'Hello, Lied The Agent' which manage to capture the often agonizing, occasionally ecstatic day to day life of a TV writer in the process of developing a new series...

Gurvitz's book features quotable lines on just about every page ("It's been said that in Hollywood, friends don't want friends to fail; friends want friends to die") and a comprehensive overview of the television landscape valuable to anyone who's ever wanted to know how shows - brilliant or execrable - proceed from concept to airing

He has been in the business for a while and knows what he is talking about. Most shows go through so many rewrites before the pilot is even produced that most of the time, the original script is nothing like the finished product. One of my favorite quotes from the book about that is:

"A while ago I saw a comic at the Laugh Factory on Sunset. He was the original writer of Malibu's Most Wanted", that Jamie Kennedy movie about a spoiled rich white kid who acts 'black'. The comic joked about it, saying, 'People asked me if my script changed a lot, all I know is when I wrote the first draft it was about the Holocaust."

I was on the D-Train when I first read that line and laughed my ASS off and had everyone looking at me as I stood on a crowded express train at 9:15am.

Anyway, the more and more I read this book, the more I want to work in Television Development on the entertainment side.

One final point in the post, Ian brings up how you submit a script, get notes back from a bunch of people... re-write the script and then re-write again. I look at my stuff that I have written and started to re-write it again. The problem with the networks, Ian says, is that the development executives aren't from the "creative" side of television. Most of them have business degrees or have never really worked in television at all (this is not my opinion but his, paraphrasing)

I hope to one day be able to talk about how I went from being an "assistant" to a VP of Development somewhere... I am on my way though!

Logo

I have been wanting to create one and I thought I would open it up to you, my loyal readers, to help me out with a logo for my blog. I know Matt over at DTB has one. I really want to be creative with it.

So, if you have some free time and want to help me out, shoot me some ideas and I will pst whatever I come up with on the blog later next week.

Wake Up and....

Today I woke up and had the urge to vomit. Not exactly what you want to feel when you open your eyes. Wrong side of the bed… more like I only have one side of the bed to get up from.

I got in the shower, debated on calling out of work and decided that I had to go in and prove myself. Looking back I was crazy to come in. I am feeling nauseous and I am all stuffy.

I walked out on to my stoop and had a choice. Go left and catch the Express train a few blocks away OR go right and catch a local train. Both subway stations are the same distance away walking. I debated in my mind and decided to go to the express train and stop at a drug store to get something to make me fell better.

I walk into the subway station and it smells like burnt rubber. It’s a little smoky. I walk to the station agent window and tell her that there is smoke downstairs and it smells like burning rubber… her response, “Not my problem”.

I wait for the subway train to come and a local and express train come at the same time. I walk down the stairs, holding my breath and debate again. Express… I jump on the train and about 5 minutes into the ride we stop for 20 minutes because of a “train with problems ahead”

Just one of those days.

I had a talk yesterday with my Executive Producer about my role here on this shift. She appreciates me working 12 hour days and doing the work of a producer to help get 4 overnight shows and a morning show on the air watched by millions of people around the world. She is trying to help me, but still it’s crazy.

I am training now to be a “Predator” here at work. It’s a hybrid Producer and Editor. The senior Operations producer has taken me under his wing and teaching me how to do a lot more with Avid (a digital video editing system) and how to manage all the video that is on our servers.

I am doing the work, learning the skills, just waiting for everything to fall into place.

On a personal note, I hope all of you also read Tim’s blog. For those of you that don’t know Tim, he broke up with his girlfriend of 2 years and has started coming out to friends of his. He met this guy Aaron and things are looking really good. Even though I talk to Tim everyday, I wanted to give him a shout out on the catch!

8 hours of work left…

Kenneth in the 212

I recently found Kenneth in the (212) and have been meaning to link to his blog for a while. So now, here he is. He has some great stuff on his blog including these pictures of Brady Quinn working out , Colt Brennan, and Slugger’s obsession David Wright of the New York Mets. Anyway, just thought I would give him a shout out on the blog.

Where KillerBlender came from…

I have used my current screen name since I was a freshman in High School. When I got to college, my roommate would use my computer and his screen name was KillerToaster. We talked about the origins of the screen name and he really didn’t have one. So I decided to be KillerBlender because I had one out on my counter to make margaritas so I made the screen name and really didn’t use it that often. Just used it to tease him online and that was about it.

A lot of people have asked me what KillerBlender means so there you go!

"Friday" Morning + Jack and Cokes

I’ve been promising myself that I would make an extra effort to go out and see people I haven’t seen in a long time. Like my friend Josh. We have an interesting friendship that dates back to when I first moved to New York City.

I had just moved into my apartment up in West Harlem and my roommate Kamil had some friends over to drink. I didn’t have to work that night, so I sat out in my living room and drank 40’s with guys I did not know at all. Welcome to New York.

Josh stood out while we were playing cards. Boyish good looks, charming, smart, intelligent… everything you would want from in a guy. From the conversation, I took it as he was straight. The night went on, more people showed up at the apartment and Josh wanted to smoke a cigarette. He wanted to go chill on the roof while he smoked so I took the invitation and went up.

After about a minute on the roof, he point blank asked me if I was gay. I hesitated and said yes. It was one of the first times I had been called out point blank if I was gay. He asked if I was seeing anyone and I said no. Explained that I was single and just don’t seem to be a guy other gay guys are attracted to (more on this later)

He goes on how in college he had broken up with his girlfriend and one of his fraternity brothers had just come out of the closet (insert porno music here) He said that they had “messed around” and that’s about it. We talked a little longer and ran out of beer so went downstairs and rejoined the party.

From there Josh and I would constantly talk about relationships and fucking and anything else on our minds. We became pretty good friends. Possibly one of my best friends in the city. My roommate and I grew farther apart because he was dating some 18 year old NYU freshman girl so Josh and I would hang out with his friends and I expanded my friend circle in NYC.

Josh met my friend Cassandra and instantly became obsessed with her. I was a little jealous but wanted to hook him up with her because they were kinda perfect for each other. They got together, started dating after a long and drawn out in-between period with me in the middle trying to get them both together.

The first month of them dating was cool. They set me up on a date with this guy Kevin who turned out to be a total flake. No big deal.

Anyway, people get busy. Josh and Cassie got really into each other, she moved to Hoboken across the river and I lost touch with both of them. Shit happens.

I heard from Josh a few weeks ago. Called and said he had broken up with Cassie and missed hanging out with me, wondered what was going on with me. I kinda let a lot out over the phone and we decided that we needed to meet back up and hang out again. Every time we tied to do lunch, one of us would have something come up and we had been pitting it off for two weeks. So I decided to wake up a little early and head downtown and meet him at a bar to watch some March Madness. I headed downtown to this bar on 23rd and 3rd called the Grand Saloon. Cool place, average bar, average prices for drinks in New York. I saw him, still looking cute as ever sitting with a bunch of friends. We started talking, catching up and what happens, the girls sitting at the table next to us start up akward conversation. They weren’t the best looking girls but it was fun. We all start talking, turns out they went to Holy Cross and knew a girl I grew up with named Sandra. Random.

Wherever I go, if you are from the NY-CT-NJ area, I will almost always know someone in common with you. It’s crazy. We talked about that, some basketball (they were trying to pick us up) and everything like that…

Next the girls asked where I grew up… I told them where I grew up in Connecticut and they said, “Oh my god… do you know Kevin B….?” (a different Kevin from the flake, but still… I seem to have a thing for making out with guys named Kevin…)

I kinda froze, Josh looked at me and knew what was up.

“Yeah, I do know him… he went to Prep right?”

Random Girl – “Yeah, the all boys school.”

Kevin B. was a guy I had met in high school and really never got to know. He was always friends of friends but there was this sexual tension between us. I was at home a random weekend over the summer in Connecticut and I had started talking to Kevin in a chat room and we realized that we were close and both lived in New York.

We would talk online and on the phone and it was looking like it could turn into something a lot more than friendship…

One night last fall, he calls me at 3am and we are talking and he says he is in a cab on his way to my apartment… I don’t protest.

He walks into my apartment and starts making out with me. No words, just starts making out with me. We strip down naked in my living room and head to my bedroom. It was an hour and a half of naked fun in my bed. After we were both done we were laying there kinda talking but both half asleep. He gets up to go to the bathroom. I roll over and kinda pass out.

My phone wakes me up about 15 mins later. He sends me a text message saying he is always awkward sleeping not in his bed and that it’s not me. I thought it was cute, and went back to bed.

Over the course of the next few nights, I would call Kevin B and leave a message. I got the hint when he wouldn’t call me back. About 2 weeks after we had our fun, I IM him while he is online. He explains that he had fun, but that I “Wasn’t his type” and he wasn’t into me.

I still don’t understand why he would walk into my apartment and make out with me… I asked him why did he do those things he did and talk a lot of bullshit… his answer…

“I was drunk. It never would have happened if I wasn’t hammered”

I was crushed. This was before I had the blog. Before I could vent my feelings and frustrations and get advice from awesome readers like you guys.

I haven’t talked to him since.

Back to tonight… the girls don’t know any of this.. Kevin B calls. They talk, he is on a date “with a hot guy that he likes.”

The girls say, “We met someone that knows you… JP from Connecticut.”

Random Girl “He says hello”

I found it funny. What are the odds.

The girls left and Josh and I are sitting, watching basketball and just talking. It was a very interesting conversation about mostly me being a gay guy in NYC looking for another gay guy in New York who is like me.

Truth be told, the only guys that are like me are the “straight” closeted frat boy types that don’t go to gay bars.

Looking back on my blog and re-reading about guys that I have hooked up with (Kevin, Kevin B, Mike, Guy) it’s just strange to me that NONE of them has turned into more than that. Anyway, nap time.

Looking Back... HS Football

I came across this picture somewhere on the internet and it reminded me of this guy Bobby that I played football with growing up. Bobby is a good looking guy. The last time I ran into him is when I was bartending in Fairfield, CT.

My senior year of high school, our team was 7-0, ranked #15 in the Nation and on our way to a Conference and State championship season after losing the State Championship the year before. We went into our second to last game, favorites and the regional game of the week that would be seen on the MSG Network. We went into that game pumped up and lost 21-7.

For the first time in my career playing sports I cried after we shook hands and went to circle up as a team after in the endzone. The younger guys who didn’t play looked at us, the seniors and juniors sobbing and crying. Our coach really didn’t say anything. He said he would talk to us when we got home. When we got back to school and headed into the locker room Bobby was in a pose almost identical to that pose the shirtless guy is in.

On his shoulder was our junior running back Gavin. Crying on Bobby’s shoulder no coaches in the locker room… just the Varsity team… in silence. That night we went to a guys house and got absolutely hammered. No girls, no one not on the team.. just seniors and the juniors that played.

I loved playing football. I saw that picture and it brought back a lot of memories. At the gym last night, I was doing some crunches and it was really warm in the gym. In the summer we had conditioning practices at our gym at school. I reached back and felt the sweat running down the back of my head (I had a good workout going) and the warmth of the air, smell of the gym with all the sweat brought me back to those summer practices in the gym running gassers, wind sprints, lifting and doing random exercises to stay in shape over the summer.

I got to know a bunch of guys I will never forget playing football, even had some fun. Just wanted to share the picture with all of you guys.

I have been hitting the gym pretty good the last week. Feel a lot better now and even lost 5 pounds since I last weighed myself.

Now if only that network would call me back with a job offer.

Vacation... BOOKED!

I booked my plane ticket to Florida today. I am pretty excited about it. It's about a month away. I am spending 4 days in Orlando seeing some people that I know in the area then heading to West Palm Beach for a few days to see my parents at their beach condo.

I don't know when I am returning yet. I was able to book off Monday through Thursday for a week in April but I would have to return Friday to work. Which to me, makes no sence. I really want to be able to take a whole 10 days off and be able to spend it on the beach.

9 Days includes both weekends with the week in between. Just annoying... sums up the way I feel like I have been treated. I know, I know... I shouldn't complain about work... I promised I wouldn't...

My buddy Erik, who has been living down in Orlando since we both worked at Disney together, got me a great deal on a hotel on I-Drive near Universal. The last time I stayed down there I stayed on his couch. I mean, it was fine, but wanted to have a place to myself this time.

I plan on heading to Disney World for a day or two and then Universal for a day. Play in the parks and then sit on the beach and do nothing in West Palm. I know I will be going out at night, so that should be fun.

Any readers in the area should let me know good places to go on a Thursday, friday and Saturday night around there!

I'm excited... now I just need to get through the days!

The Weekend and Davis Mallory

Work really is getting to me. I know that I shouldn’t be harping too much on it but it is seriously getting to me way too much. Anyway, as most of you have been reading, since Wednesday, my dad has been coming in from Connecticut to go to the Big East Tournament games at Madison Sq. Garden (the worlds most famous arena) Leave it to New York to call it’s home of hockey, basketball and professional lacrosse the world’s most famous arena.

Anyway, I haven’t been sleeping much and all I have been doing the past few days have been working, going to watch basketball and getting drunk with my dad and going to a bunch of restaurants with my dad.

Now, the title of the post may be misleading, but that’s ok. Saturday night into Sunday morning I had to work and cover a shift. I am also promising myself that I won’t complain as much anymore about having to work extra shifts and not really getting anything from it besides being a body to fill the space. It’s not a hard shift, it’s a standby shift incase there is breaking news overnight. I have been searching for newspaper articles and sending some story pitches out to people and applying for jobs.

Once I get a lot of stuff out of the way, I have some free time to do what I want so I decided to catch up on episodes of The Real World over on MTV.com

I have always had a soft spot for The Real World growing up. Seattle, New Orleans, Return to NY, and now Denver. I always liked seeing gay guys on the show that defied the stereotype that I had always thought gay men should be. When I was able to meet and spend time with Danny Roberts it was a dream turned into reality. Meeting a guy that was so comfortable with himself and proud to be who he was. It was the first time in a long time that I was really ready to start admitting to myself who I am. Anyway, I have been following the show and will admit to having a small crush on Davis Mallory.

Looks wise, he is a guy I am very attracted to. He takes care of his body and has really shown how caring he can be. I haven’t been watching the show, or doing much of anything else with the crazy work schedule that I have had but was happy to catch up on episodes. I started with the Valentines episode where Davis’s boyfriend PJ (now Ex) visits Denver. The amount of love that was between PJ and Davis poured through screen and inspired me to write this post about relationships, coming out and just everything that has been running through my head.

I almost came out to my dad this weekend at the basketball games. We were talking about random stuff and I was very close but decided not to because it wouldn’t be fair to my mom. Family is a big part of my life and I am sure that they have some kind of idea because I have not had a girlfriend since 2001 and have not shown much interest in finding one.

Me wanting a relationship is also something that is probably preventing me from finding someone. I am too caught up in looking that I am missing out on a lot of stuff. My friend Cameron and I had a conversation tonight that really put a lot into perspective. He recently came out to his friends and family and though he is younger than me, made me realize that life really isn’t so bad. As always, he lives out in the Midwest and is far away from New York City. But positive conversations and thoughts are what will help me get through this difficult time and move on to a new JP. A better JP.

I know this post is all over, I am really tired and really needed to get all of it out!






*pictures courtesy www.myspace.com/davismallory

Big East Tourney

Yesterday I had a really good time with my dad at Madison Square Garden watching basketball. I’m pretty hung over and it looks like it is going to be more of the same for the rest of the week. It feels really go to just be able to chill out with my dad and watch basketball, drink beer and socialize with a bunch of people.

I also forgot how many hot young (mostly straight) New Yorkers are at the games drinking beer during the work week. Anyway, I’ll pots more later today.

Hope everyone is doing great!

Random

I have had a lot of random thoughts this past week that I wrote down. Now that I have the time to actually write, I will write them:

1) My fraternity formal is coming up at the end of the month. A lot of the guys I talk to, active and alumni, want me to bring a guy as a date. I would love to bring a guy as a date to the formal. It's a great time to see a LOT of alumni that you don't get to see during the year. It's a weekend long party and a chance to go back and do ritual with the young active brothers. I always loved our ritual. Even though we had to do typical meeting bullshit in between, it's always an amazing experience to do ritual with your brothers. For those who have never experienced ritual with a fraternal organization, it's an experience you never forget and a common bond you have with thousands of other guys.

Anyway, I am on the look out for a date. I'll see where things go.

2) I got a REALLY good reccomendation from a big time news anchor this week for the job I interviewed for. It's a positive. She forwarded me the email exchange and it looks good. I would have to move to another state for the job, but it would be worth it. I know I would miss New York City, but I wouldn't be that far away...

3) Now that I am back on a "regular for me" schedule I have a lot more time on my hands. I don't know what to do with myself. I have been going to the gym for the past 2 days now. 3 months to lose some weight to look goo at the beach!

Catching Up.......

Hello everyone! I am refreshed! This may be the first “Monday” I have had at work in a long time where I am not super tired / still hung over from the weekend. As you all saw last week, work kicked the shit out of me. I ended up working 37 hours of Overtime in 5 days. 77 hours of work last week… so that means a LOT of money will be in my paycheck this Friday.

I don’t know if I am going to save up all my money for a long weekend trip I want to take very soon or go on a little shopping spree. I barely have enough room right now in my apartment for the clothes that I have. So who knows what I will do. This week is looking to be lot better as far as not working myself to death.

Where do I start …

Let’s start with Wednesday afternoon. Wednesday, I had it with all the work I had been doing. I sent an e-mail to my EP (who has no control over my hours or schedule… ) and HR manager (she does) I explained what was going on with me and that I felt like I may fall over if I were to keep working these 15 hour shifts as I had been the past 4 days. So, instead of me coming in at 10pm, they had me come in at 3am for the rest of the week. I was very excited to get sleep. I was able to go to the gym those days and get a good work out in.

While at the gym, I had a conversation with a trainer there. He is friends with David, my usual trainer, and when I am in we always shoot the shit for 5 minutes talking about random bullshit. Anyway, I was on this elliptical machine and he stood on the one next to me and talked to me for all 25 minutes I was on that machine. He was really cool, trying to get me to buy sessions from him and giving me compliments on how far I have come since I started working out at that gym, even though I have been so busy with work.

It was nice to hear it even though he just wants me to spend about $800 on training sessions.

Friday comes along and I have a face to face meeting with my HR manager. The first words out of her mouth are “I am so sorry I have almost killed you this week” I laughed and she got into apology mode because she knows that she has been working me and a few others to the bone this week.

We had a really positive conversation about my future here at the network, looked over my resume, and talked about the coming week. It looks like the new girl is not coming back. My HR manager rolled her eyes and looked annoyed when I brought her up, seeing if New Girl was ok. “I don’t know when or IF, she will be back…” So, who knows.

Friday afternoon I jumped on a train for New Haven to go see a comedy show at my old college. I was in the first 2 “seasons” of this comedy show and a few of my fraternity brothers were in it and really wanted me to come and see the show. It’s all sketch comedy, and I laughed a lot. After I got pizza with my little brother and then headed to a party on campus where I felt old. I mean, 26 is not old at all, but when there are 18 year old girls hanging around being annoying, you just want to slap people.

That next morning I headed back to New York, took a short nap and then headed out for the night with my buddy Sal. We hit up my fraternity brother PJ’s birthday party down in the village at Fiddlesticks. It’s an Irish pub with good music and saw some people I hadn’t seen in like a month. A guy that was there that I was excited to see was John.

John is a friend of a bunch of guys from school. An attractive guy, he’s about 5’9” swimmers build brownish hair, green eyes. He dated one of my friends Kim at school. After I graduated in 2004, I really didn’t see him much because I wasn’t up at school, and working in New York. I got to see him again this past summer at PJ’s graduation party. John had come out of the closet and came out with a bang. His voice had got a lot more flamboyant and feminine. It’s not that big of a deal, that was really the only thing that was different about him. Anyway, he has a boyfriend who I find sketchy.

Anyway, The open bar was over at the bar so, John, his boyfriend, this guy Mike, my straight fraternity brother Sal, and I went to Barracuda to hang out after. Sal had no problems going to a gay bar. He’s a cool guy.

Anyway, while I was at Barracuda, I got a call from Kevin. Kevin is a guy who I met last summer at a roof top party in Chelsea. We had a lot of fun the first night we hung out and since then have met up a couple times late night after drinking. He came and met up with us and he wanted to come home with me.

Sal was staying on my futon, so Kevin and I were quiet so Sal could sleep, he had work in the morning. Kevin and I definitely had fun. No sex… but we had a lot of fun.

The next morning we got out of bed at like noon and laid on the futon and watched an episode of Law and Order SVU, his favorite show. After Kevin left, I went and got a sandwich from Subway and then fell asleep on the futon until I had to come into work. It was nice to be able to get a lot of sleep before coming in today. I still have a few hours left on my 15 hour shift. “Old Girl” is coming back to work tomorrow and I should have a shorter day… only 12 hour shifts the rest of the week.