Work really is getting to me. I know that I shouldn’t be harping too much on it but it is seriously getting to me way too much. Anyway, as most of you have been reading, since Wednesday, my dad has been coming in from Connecticut to go to the Big East Tournament games at Madison Sq. Garden (the worlds most famous arena) Leave it to New York to call it’s home of hockey, basketball and professional lacrosse the world’s most famous arena.
Anyway, I haven’t been sleeping much and all I have been doing the past few days have been working, going to watch basketball and getting drunk with my dad and going to a bunch of restaurants with my dad.
Now, the title of the post may be misleading, but that’s ok. Saturday night into Sunday morning I had to work and cover a shift. I am also promising myself that I won’t complain as much anymore about having to work extra shifts and not really getting anything from it besides being a body to fill the space. It’s not a hard shift, it’s a standby shift incase there is breaking news overnight. I have been searching for newspaper articles and sending some story pitches out to people and applying for jobs.
Once I get a lot of stuff out of the way, I have some free time to do what I want so I decided to catch up on episodes of The Real World over on MTV.com
I have always had a soft spot for The Real World growing up. Seattle, New Orleans, Return to NY, and now Denver. I always liked seeing gay guys on the show that defied the stereotype that I had always thought gay men should be. When I was able to meet and spend time with Danny Roberts it was a dream turned into reality. Meeting a guy that was so comfortable with himself and proud to be who he was. It was the first time in a long time that I was really ready to start admitting to myself who I am. Anyway, I have been following the show and will admit to having a small crush on Davis Mallory.
Looks wise, he is a guy I am very attracted to. He takes care of his body and has really shown how caring he can be. I haven’t been watching the show, or doing much of anything else with the crazy work schedule that I have had but was happy to catch up on episodes. I started with the Valentines episode where Davis’s boyfriend PJ (now Ex) visits Denver. The amount of love that was between PJ and Davis poured through screen and inspired me to write this post about relationships, coming out and just everything that has been running through my head.
I almost came out to my dad this weekend at the basketball games. We were talking about random stuff and I was very close but decided not to because it wouldn’t be fair to my mom. Family is a big part of my life and I am sure that they have some kind of idea because I have not had a girlfriend since 2001 and have not shown much interest in finding one.
Me wanting a relationship is also something that is probably preventing me from finding someone. I am too caught up in looking that I am missing out on a lot of stuff. My friend Cameron and I had a conversation tonight that really put a lot into perspective. He recently came out to his friends and family and though he is younger than me, made me realize that life really isn’t so bad. As always, he lives out in the Midwest and is far away from New York City. But positive conversations and thoughts are what will help me get through this difficult time and move on to a new JP. A better JP.
I know this post is all over, I am really tired and really needed to get all of it out!
*pictures courtesy www.myspace.com/davismallory