Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Fraternity for Life

The banquet was amazing. There was a brief moment where tears filled the room. In 2005 my chapter lost a brother in a freak accident and Saturday night we had a prayer for him and a moment of silence where all the brothers and alumni stood up and toasted our fallen brother. This happened last year, but right after the moment of silence a few of the guys started a chant we do to make another brother chug his beer at a party. The cheer was for that brother. I chimed in and started and about halfway through I lost it and started balling. My little brother was there and hugged me and it was really somber. I know that he would want us to get up and dance after that, and we did.

I got a little TOO WASTED and proceeded to tell everyone I loved them. We headed back to the house afterwards and one of the new brothers who had just been initiated had come up to me at the beginning of the banquet to talk to me because we had met briefly when they were in NYC and had heard so much about me. I found it kinda out of nowhere but took it as a compliment. He had a beautiful date, half white, half Pilipino.

He is cute and has a toned body from doing martial arts. He would always end up near me on the dance floor and we had a good time. Anyway, we end up back at the house and I was really drunk and a little nauseous. I sat down on a couch and he was close by and came over to talk. After drinking ginger ale and feeling better I went over to my first beer of the night. 12:30am, first beer after having a shit load of Jack and gingers.

This new guy, lets call him Tommy started talking about this girl he was talking to and that he was into. He was asking me opinion on it and I was telling him that he should go for her.. blah blah blah. The conversation quickly turned to sex and how he has nailed a lot of girls on campus. I didn’t mind listening, he is cute.. but I have a rule that I would never hook up with anyone from my chapter of my fraternity, I have hooked up with guys in my fraternity, just not any that went to my school.

About an hour into just sitting around and shooting the shit he brings up me being gay. He asks me when I came out, how I did it, when did I know… the usual questions I get from guys that are bi/questioning and wanting to talk about their feelings in a discreet way.

I talk about what I went through in college and how there were guys that I “dated” in college that were “straight” and that I had no problem with it because we were having fun. He agreed that someone should be able to have fun regardless.

I had to keep thinking in my head that this guy Tommy is my brother, and barely 19. After some more talk about some of my sexploits around campus, he tells me that he has messed around with a guy before. I knew it was coming and kinda had the feeling that he was. A bunch of people came into the room we were in and were getting ready to play flip cup. As they left he said, can we keep this between us? I said of course I would not tell any brothers.

I tell you guys because I thought it was awesome that this guy, who barely knew me started talking to me and trusted me with something that a lot of guys struggle with telling people that they have known for years. Tommy is a great guy. As I was leaving to go pass out at my little brothers apartment he asked for my cell phone number so he could call me whenever. We traded numbers and the next morning he added me as a friend on Facebook.

The next morning I was hung over as hell. Somehow after eating an bacon egg and cheese I was able to play a softball game. I got back to NYC and got a phone call from Jacob, who I had met a few weeks ago when I met the hot Aussie named Grant. Jacob was in Central Park and wanted to grab drinks. So I showered up and headed downtown to meet him at a restaurant for some food and drinks. On my way down to meet him I was excited because we had kept in touch all weekend and missed eacother Friday night.

We had an awesome conversation about life, our jobs and how he is moving back to Kansas on Sunday. :-(

Anyway, he asked me as I was leaving for work from the restaurant if I wanted to meet Tuesday for food again… of course I said yes. I seem to fall for guys that don’t live in New York City full time.

The good news is I’ve been able to meet some cool guys that read this blog that are just like me. When I first started this thing, it was one of my motives to be able to meet guys like me. So far, Spring 2007 I have met some awesome guys that are turning out to be good friends. Can’t wait to see what will happen with everything.


  1. When I started my blog it was just to rant about what was happening in my life. I just wanted to get my feelings out.

    I never actually thought people would be interested in my thoughts but it turns out some people are.

    I've also recently met alot of cool people from all over the world because of my blog and it's something that I am very happy about.

    With regards to Tommy, sometimes it's just easier to talk to someone who knows absolutely nothing about you.

    I've done it a few times and it works because if they judge you, you don't care because you don't know them.

    It's actually how I met one of my best friends. I just spilled the beans out of nowhere.


  2. That's cool that Tommy chose to talk with you about it. I struggle with being able to talk about it with people. Even with people that are gay and "know" or assume that I am as well, which sounds silly. I have a straight friend that I'd like to talk about it with, but in a sense I don't know how to. I feel like he knows or suspects (or he might just be clueless on it), but I also fear I'm losing him as a friend as it is anyway. I'd be curious to know if Tommy talks more with you about it and how he deals with it.

  3. great post, man that sounds like an awesome weekend. I've been in contact with a few guys in okc that are in my similar situation and it is very cool that it was from my blog.
    keep it up, and have great week at work, stud. later.