Monday, June 1, 2009


TO: mylife@jp'
CC: karma@jp'
CC: dignity@jp'
BCC: Coke.Habit@steve'
Subject: RE; Saturday Night
Date: Monday June 1, 2009

Dear Life-

This memo is in regards to the events of Saturday night into Sunday morning. First, let me thank Karma and Life for all of your hard work in securing employment for the next few months. A steady paycheck is needed to stay on our 2009 Goals. However, the events of Saturday need to be touched upon before moving forward.

Saturday started out great. You really didn't let me get too drunk on Friday night and rewarded me with an excellent screening of the movie, "The Room" (please refer to new blog post for more on this.) I had a great time with my two friends I haven't seen in a while and laughed my ass off.

Please remind me to bring business cards with me wherever I go for "professional type" situations. Even if I am wearing a tshirt and having some strong herb passed my way by a cast member of SNL.

Life delivered some beautiful weather on Saturday. This let me unwind on my fraternity brothers roof deck most of the afternoon. Work on my tan and catch up on bullshitting with a great friend. Those are the perfect types of afternoons that should be re-created more often. Sans roof tops and substitute other locations. Physical activity (ie running, swimming, boating etc) will be greatly appreciated.

Karma really paid off with the traffic lights walking from 34th street up Broadway to go to softball happy hour. My teammates were in a great mood, enjoyed themselves and really had a good time. Life and Karma really pitched in together to deliver Steve. A friend of a friend.

He is cute, athletic and has an amazing personality. Kudos to his team for helping him come out a few months ago and deliver him to the Homosexual Division.

However, an Eagles fan from Philly? Really? That does not conform to my usual standards but will be over looked in light of the rest of Saturday night. The constant, "I just want to do some blow and have some guy suck my dick tonight" comments were a little too much.

At this juncture I would like to address what happened at the bar after dinner. I think that my act as a wing man not once but twice really gave me points on Saturday night. I hooked a friend up with a really cute guy because my friend is shy and I would like to see him find a really nice guy, unlike his ex.

I also, despite being attracted to Steve, hooked him up with two different guys.

When this happens, a man should be sent my way. Please communicate this to Fate and Coincidence ASAP. In this current economic climate I can't have Life, Karma, Fate and Coincidence not working together to meet the common goal of getting me laid or finding me a boyfriend.

Monday afternoon we will all be meeting to discuss how to go about having a better weekend in this regard. Otherwise we had a great weekend.

All the best;


PS- Thank you for working with Billy's team on getting him to the bar on Saturday. Even if it was for only a few hours.

1 comment: