Wednesday, May 20, 2009


Spring has sprung! Summer is almost here and you know that it's here because of one reason. Someone you know just got into a relationship or they are breaking up.

This is just an observation from someone who is pretty bitter and observing.

Case 1: The break up

My fraternity brother Phil has been dating this girl for about 2 years. He is heads over heels in love with her. Most of his friends don't really like her. She is a year younger than him and just graduated from a 5 year program with her masters. She told him that she wanted to take a break.

They still talk and text but she wants the option open for her to go off and hook up with other guys. I told him that it's bullshit that she would do that to you. I gave him advice and then he asked me for the honest truth of what I thought. I think I broke the kids heart.

Most of the time when someone in the relationship says "I want to take a break" more often than not the relationship has only a few weeks left. It's just a way of dragging out the process.

Case 2: Come out, get a bf.

A reader of the blog who I will call "Charlie" contacted me a few months ago. Really awesome guy. Similar situation to me while I was in college. He's gay, sort of in the closet and in a fraternity.

As our conversations went on I could feel what he was going through. I went through it. I hadn't heard from him in a few weeks. Until tonight. He IMed me to tell me that he had awesome news: He came out to his friends and now has a boyfriend.

Why does this happen to pretty much everyone else except me?! Well, Charlie went off to a leadership conference and met this guy. He opened up to him and they had a lot in common and is now seeing him.

I don't know what the deal with all of this is but I want to catch the spring fever. Last spring I caught it and the guy and I ended up not really getting along after a week or two. No big deal. Just wish my time would come.


  1. Hey. I was in Charlie's position. I came out, got dates right away and then actually started dating a friend a couple months later. 5 years later we're still together. The "dates" were all due to me being "new meat" in the clubs while also not being a 20 y/o kid (I was 27). But the bf thing just kinda happened. Started with a friendship and just progressed.

    It'll happen JP. Give it time.

  2. BillOhio, this is Charlie and your story is awesome! Me and my current bf although we have only known each other a little over a week both reiterate all the time that we are best friends first with the luxury of being intimate and very attracted to one another. He is definitely hesitant because no one knows about him but I can only continue to be excited if we have the same luck as you!

  3. "Charlie" - JP has my email (I think). I'd love to talk to you more. JP, feel free to pass it onto Charlie if you still have it. If not JP, leave a comment here and I'll get it to you.

  4. oh well... been there done that. I've had sooo many escapades when it comes to dates. All those ground rules in dating. And I’ve never ever played by the rules which in the end made me look like a fool. When it all boils down, all the guys i dated only wanted sex. I ended laughing while having sex - the thought about having sex without even know the guy - so lame in a weird/fun way! The guy i was having sex with asked me if i was laughing and i convinced him that i wasn't – but luckily he couldn’t see my face.

    It’s so depressing thinking about all my dates ended up just wanting sex so i thought about just joining the cut-the-crap-and-show-me-your-willy-club! and that is how i met my boyfriend.
    I was pretty much sure about just wanting sex (i realized that was what the gay scene was all about). As a precaution (to check if he was worth having sex with) i spied on him when he jumped out of the bus. For ten minutes i hid behind a freepaper 3 meters away – just to see if he looked like all those morons i use to date. I concluded he looked normal and joined him at the bench introducing myself.

    We have been together for four (maybe five - i cant remember) years, and i, cliché, really love him a lot.
    So as for me it happened while as not all prepared – in fact i was the opposite of being prepared.
    So i guess its all about not being prepared, which fits my general life style as well :-)

    (sorry for gramma etc. – i am European)