So, this past weekend I started to re-evaluate my New Years plans. I have spent the last two New Years at work. One I got drunk while at work and drank a bottle of champaign on set... last year I was sitting at a desk snuck downstairs to take a swig of Jack.
The year before that I fell down a pair of stairs while trying to make out with a friend of mine and had to be in at work by 9am. I never did get to make out with him, he started dating a friend of mine from high school shortly after that... a girl to boot.
So, I really haven't had a fun New Years in a while. I have never had a New Years kiss and I am spending New Years eve (as of now) at a small house warming party in Springfield Mass.
I will wait for you to process that as I try to as well...
Granted, I will be with some really good friends of mine, the only gay guy there and wasted. Lately when I get super drunk I start having all these fucked up, negative thoughts. Nothing serious, but just confusion as to why I can't seem to luck out with a guy.
Last night for example. I was out drinking with a bunch of friends. It's a night we call Alcoholiday where a buch of friends from college meet up at our favorite bar as undergrads and drink the night away, catching up with everyone and it's always a good time.
There was this waiter/bartender (there always is) and he's one of the nicest guys out there. Not to mention athletic, Italian and just all around hot. Throughout the night he made a point to come over to me and talk and give me beers. As the night went on my mind wandered about how cute he was and how nice he was being. Of course I started thinking "What if..."
Well, he isn't into guys. I realized that and it just got me down on myself. Although, I did have some fun this past weekend with a guy. I don't know how that will pan out with him being in school right now but we'll see how it goes.
Either way, I am thinking of changing my New Years plans to try and get a kiss from a guy.